This blog has been alive for 9 years. That's a lot of words and I can't guarantee that I haven't written about the same thing twice. This morning, I have a weird sense of deja vu, even though, what I'm about to write about must be new because it's never happened before. I feel as though I might have dreamed it when I was 15, after I played the flute underneath the stage for a production of Joseph.
Last night, Rinky-Dink Peter won Bake Off, as predicted. It was a lovely programme, just at a time we needed it and so beautifully done at the end, showing us the lengths people had gone to to bring it to us, showing us a lockdown baby, the friends the Bake of Contestants had made in a time when none of the rest of us have been able to make new friends, and a tribute to the lovely Luis (former contestant, who died of bowel cancer a few weeks ago). At the end we were all a little emotional and singing Coat of Many Colours from Joseph.
Much of what I know can be related to a musical and it seemed appropriate that Pru was wearing her coat of many colours last night.
The show aired just after the government had announced the plans for Christmas. I say announced but what I mean is leaked to the Press. Nicola Sturgeon gave a press conference but we got a Twitter announcement on Simple Politics, written in comic sans with numbered bullet points.
My daughter and I had been discussing it just before the show started.
"This Christmas thing is making me feel a bit emotional," she said (she has a cold; she's always emotional with a cold)
"I think they are just resigned to the fact that people will see each other and by putting in the three households bubble they will at least get people to think about it."
"Maybe. But how will people choose?"
I didn't really understand what was bothering her because I, like most people, am completely selfish. Christmas was never going to be a problem for me. It's one advantage of your parents being dead. My children are living at home and my sister lives on her own (there are no rules about how many dogs can come for Christmas dinner). The Long Suffering Husband is also an orphan and rarely sees his sister and never at Christmas. I also might be a bit of a rebel in my old age because I had already decided that I am perfectly capable of social distancing (in fact I prefer it), so I could see as many people as I liked (which, in reality, is no one)
Of the thorny life questions 2020 was going to sort out, "Who is your favourite child?" wasn't one that I expected.
It was easy for Jacob. Joseph, the youngest, would have been the one he had round for dinner. The others and their wives just irritated him. (Everything I know comes from a song)
However, if you have three or more grown up children, how do you decide which ones you see? How do you, as a couple decide if your bubble is his parents and sister's family, your parents and brother's family, or if you separate for Christmas, so that you can both see your family? A parent of two grown up, single children living in a house share each will be able to have both home for Christmas but what about Granny? How do you explain to your small children that they can't see big nanny because little nanny has decided that you are not her favourite child? Many people are already speculating about their status on Twitter, with one person saying they are ordering their microwave meal now because they know they are lower on the list that the dog and the stray cat that brings their parents headless mice.
I don't think these are easy decisions for a government. They know that we will see our loved ones over Christmas. It's a tradition that most of us would prefer to keep but they want to remind us that big parties are not safe. No one should be cooking for thirty. This is not the year to watch your Uncle entertain your other cousin's children by taking off his prosthetic leg and making it dance around the room to the tune of Jingle Bells.
2020: the year when you find out that you are the least favourite child. I think I might make some Christmas cards featuring Pru's coat.
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