It’s not personal

 The pudding is made and hiding in the cold cupboard with the sloe gin, the address book is updated, cards have been written and the mincemeat is slowly warming in a very cool oven. The whole house smells of Christmas, which is entirely appropriate for advent Sunday. However, this feeling of being calm, organised is new. Normally, I would be feeling stressed about a Christmas concert that should be happening today. It would be concert 2 of eleven and one that I really care about, so while the mincemeat was warming and I was thinking about making the first mince pies of the season for after church I would also be running round, fixing stands, printing music, checking the sleigh bells all worked and making sure my Christmas jumper still fits. 

It is a very strange feeling but it also means that I have time to do other things, like update the address book or clean out the backs of cupboards. 

I had quite a lot of mincemeat left over from last year. I didn’t use enough, or give enough away. Also,  think I forgot to only make half of the Delia recipe. I checked the jam cupboard and found a rhubarb and a courgette that I’d made that were disgusting, next to the old solid mincemeat. I don’t know what commercial manufacturers do but my preserves don’t seem to last as long as theirs. It has been quite therapeutic scrapping out all the old mincemeat and washing the jars.

Also at the back of the cupboard that were two jars labelled in my Mum’s handwriting. Damson 2015 and Strawberry 2016.

I had a little moment. I knew that I couldn’t face eating them (even if they were ok) but could I throw them away?

It turns out, that if you aren’t too busy then you can trick your brain into letting go of these things by telling yourself, “It’s not personal; it’s mouldy jam!”

I have no idea if it was mouldy as I didn’t open the lids and I feel a little guilty for not emptying, washing and recycling but somehow life just feels a bit better without jam I’m never going to eat in the cupboard.