Weeds

My allotment is on the path and so most people have to walk past to get to their own plot.

As they walk past they give unsolicited advice.
"You want to hoe those weeds in quick"
"It's such a battle with those weeds"
"It's a never ending fight."
"Looks like you're winning the battle but losing the war"
"Just turn the earth over, those little weeds will die if they don't have sunlight."
"Nothing stops the weeds growing."
"Rain is so good for the weeds"
"The weeds love a drop of sunlight."
"Act like Santa and Hoe, Hoe, Hoe!"
"Look, you've got some carrots in those weeds."
"That looks hard work."

The obsession with weeds is beginning to get annoying.  So, today when a chap stopped to talk, it was quite refreshing that he didn't mention the w-word.  I was rubbing my back.  Two hours of weeding begins to take it's toll.  He said, "Do you want a massage?"
I think I gave him a strange look and he said, "a hot bath?  Oh no, that makes it worse.  A cold shower!"
Although, on second thoughts, weeds are a much better topic.