Prometheus, in Greek mythology was a God of the Titans who was tasked with making man out of clay who got a bit big for his boots and stole meat for mankind and then gave them fire. For this, the other Gods punished him by chaining him to a rock and setting an Eagle to continuously peck out his regenerating liver. This seemed a little harsh until I watched Ridley Scott's Prometheus film and given the choice over watching it again or suffering the fate of Prometheus I would choose the latter.
Having read the reviews of this film and seen comments on Twitter, I realise that I am the only person on the planet to feel like this but there are some things about this film I have to get off my chest.
The character of Dr Elizabeth Shaw made me feel uncomfortable, right from the very beginning. She just didn't open her mouth enough when she spoke. After a while I began to suspect that she had really bad teeth and then found it difficult to concentrate on anything she said.
The idea that two archaeologists, who found some cave paintings of big men and stars got funding to explore the universe is ridiculous. Even a rich old man, scared of dying wouldn't fund that. Then these archaeologists actually got to go on the expedition. We can only assume that things are very different in the future.
It was really slow to tell a pointless and confusing story. It was like a really long trailer for the next film. I was bored. The Long Suffering Husband was confused. The story I think is that really big humans decided to make smaller versions of themselves and place them on earth until they decided that they didn't like the mini-me -s so they went to a remote planet to create 'aliens' that would act as weapon and destroy small humans. Unfortunately, the Aliens weren't fussy on size and the big humans were destroyed before they could get to earth. One big human was left in stasis to kill everyone except the woman with the unmoving mouth.
Now, I'm not a science expert but I can not believe that the big humans would have exactly the same DNA as the small humans. I can't believe that you can have a caesarean with only local anaesthetic rubbed on your tummy. I can't believe a caesarean can be performed by a grab-machine that you'd get at the fair. I can't believe that you can run, jump, survive against all the odds if you've just had an alien ripped from your belly and stapled up with just the odd wince.
Despite not enjoying the film, I am planning to stock up on bandages tomorrow, ready for the Great Underwear shortage of 2090.
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