Voting

 Did you vote? Were you alone? Did you go with your partner? Did you take your dog for the #DogsOutsidePollingStations shot?

Maybe you didn’t bother because you think your vote is worth nothing, or maybe you did a postal vote and missed the delights of Covid-unfriendly voting. 

This year, we voted in a portaloo and had to queue for the privilege. I confess that I have no idea who I voted for because the combination of being trapped in a portaloo  one way queue in a mask, being made to douse myself in a sticky substance that made me and the whole room smell like a hospital and being shouted at because I, apparently,  picked up two pencils are a combination for a perfect storm of brain holes. I honestly could have written on the paper, “I’m a nutcase, get me out of here.”

I voted after school. The Long Suffering Husband met me on the way and we took it in turns to hold the dog. We usually do go to vote at the same time and combine it with a dog walk for efficiency. However, there have been times when we were both so busy we would go separately. The LSH might have been playing golf after work and I might have had a rehearsal later in the evening, so we would have gone at different times. It wasn’t compulsory that we strolled up to the polling station, arm in arm.

Last night on the news we were treated to images of the top politicians going to vote. Nicola Sturgeon went on her own, wore yellow and banged on about Scottish Independence (which I’m really hoping the press will call Sexit. ) Kier Starmer and his wife walked up together like a normal couple, minus the dog. She looked a bit fed up. Cross that her schedule had to completely rearranged for a photo opportunity. We all know that top male politicians are incapable without their wives. Then there was Boris and Carrie.

It looks more odd as a moving image. Her arm stays straight and he is gripping her bicep.

 Man of the people who can’t even work out how to hold his wife’s hand so that it doesn’t look odd. However that doesn’t matter because he could eat a puppy and people will still vote for him. They love him and nobody knows what Labour stand for anymore. We really need a change of government. This one has been in too long and to get us out of the pandemic we need a government who is prepared to spend a bit of money on the public. When that’s done you can vote this lot back in to  sort  the finances out again. That’s how the system works but it looks like it’s broken.

So much so that in Hartlepool (traditionally Labour) not only have they voted in a conservative they also put up a huge inflatable Boris that makes him look like a cuddly teddy bear.