Now, I don’t want to confuse you even more but I am writing this at the end of the day after Boxing Day. You are probably reading it on the day after the day after Boxing Day. The day after Boxing Day is the first day of limbo. If you have been for a walk on this day and met people you know they will have greeted you with, “Happy Christmas, or should I say Happy New Year? I don’t even know what day it is. Oh no. Did I forget to put the bins out.”
Some people will have gone back to work (or their full time golf hobby, if they are retired) The alarm probably didn’t go off and they started the third day of Cheesemas in a complete panic. Those of us lucky enough to be in education have limbo. The cheese coma is just kicking in and we are a little confused about most things. Our social batteries are drained. The dog is all peopled-out and is happy to pin you to the sofa, acting as an anxious weighted blanket.
The cheeseboard is still looking pretty amazing. You crack out some of the wonderful chutney you got for Christmas and pair your breakfast cheese with a mince pie, your lunchtime cheese with a leftover sandwich (you might even give the Friends moistmaker layer a go) and for tea you work your way through the pure undulated cheese-fest that you haven’t really had much room for in the previous two days.
If you are lucky, someone will have bought you Grace Dent’s comfort eating book and you can devour the cheese chapter, while congratulating yourself on your upwardly mobile social status. You have Baron Bigod on your cheeseboard but still have a Dairylee triangle or two in the fridge. Cheese feels like a cuddle, says Grace and you nod in agreement.
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