Saturday 30 December 2023

The sixth day of cheesemas

 That’s it. You are half way through. Well done. Keep going. Keep chucking the crumbs from your cheeseboard into your pasta sauce. 

The 6th day, for me, is the one where I start to panic. Too many days on the sofa with a good book, a slice of Christmas cake and blob of Stilton makes you realise how little time there actually is. Maybe it’s too much cheese but day 6 is existential crisis day.

“What am I doing with my life?”

“What’s the point?”

“What’s it all for?”

The house is beginning to look a bit grubby, the Christmas tree is balding, the washing basket is overflowing and your sock drawer is threatening to get out of control. 

Day 6 is when they release the list of people who are to be awarded New Year’s honours and you realise that you are never going to be somebody. Not that you want to be. The idea of all that fuss makes you twitch but still, it makes you question your life choices. 

You look at the half finished jigsaw, the umpteen craft projects that you started and didn’t finish. If you are me, you might even pick up that first draft of a novel you wrote and wonder why. 

You just begin to despair, start to clean the fridge and then you find a Christmas pudding flavoured truckle that escaped the cheeseboard. Oh, happy days. Who needs to worry about self identity when there is cheese?




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