Conflicted

I watch my fair share of TV and film but I am appalling at knowing actors. Whatever I watch, the actor is the character. The Long Suffering Husband and my daughter laugh at me and say that I wouldn’t even know if it was Tom Cruise, which I deny, because Tom Cruise only plays Tom Cruise. 

This week has been particularly tiring and so I flopped in front of the TV each evening and watched the slightly creepy ITV drama about a pervy policeman, spying on women. I wasn’t particularly enjoying it. It felt a bit ‘off’ and I couldn’t explain why. I just didn’t like the policeman. He seemed sulky, spoilt and petulant. I wasn’t buying the story either. A woman had gone missing but that didn’t seem to be important in comparison with whether the sulky policeman could get his leg over the woman whose house he was using for surveillance. There was an episode every night, which is an unusual way of scheduling and I had watched Monday to Thursday. I knew this was foolish because the only two TV programmes that I never miss (Gardeners World and Have I Got News for You) are now both on at 9 o’clock on a Friday night. I’m already very cross about this as HIGNFY used to follow GW and I could watch Monty and (“Do you know me?”)  Hislop live. There was no way that a sulky,  voyeuristic policeman was going to win over my two favourite men. I was conflicted because I wasn’t sure if I cared enough to watch it at some other time.

Luckily, two brilliant Guardian journalists and twenty brave women made my decision for me.https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/apr/29/actor-noel-clarke-accused-of-groping-harassment-and-bullying-by-20-women Now, none of us have to watch the creepy guy watch naked women in a house opposite or have awkward inappropriate sex.

Reading the article is hard work. It’s compelling and sickening stuff. The kind of thing that women put up with because there no real way of stopping men like this. Even during the #MeToo movement he could continue his creepy, bullying behaviour - sexualising and degrading women, without any fear. Not only could he do it, he was praised and awarded for it. Upskirt shots? Oh that’s just reflecting society. It’s cool. Gratuitous female nudity? Edgy. Well done!

The women? The real women, having panic attacks until they turn blue and have an ambulance called for them? The women who feel uncomfortable at naked auditions (Naked auditions! Let that sink in)? The women filmed without consent? Oh, don’t worry about them. They don’t matter. It’s all about him and his ‘art’

How many times do we turn a blind eye to the creepy?

My daughter tells me that she deleted him from her Instagram contacts because he sent her a weird message. Just delete. Don’t make a fuss. Don’t say anything. Just keep quiet. Move on. Be glad it’s not you.

Some people were very cross that the last episode was cancelled (although it’s not really cancelled because it’s on ITV hub and so I still have the dilemma of whether to watch). Lynda1234 wrote, “CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY. IM FEWMIN. Viewpoint is a great show for a great actor. Whatever happened to instance (sic) until proved guilty?”

Now, this is the problem. It’s not actually a crime to shout at someone, or laugh at them, or take a picture of their knickers when they are drunk at a party and do a handstand. It’s not a crime to have nude women in films, or have sex scenes. It’s not illegal to whisper sexually suggestive comments in a colleague’s ear or cut dinner short with another colleague explaining that it’s because you want to have sex with them. It’s immoral but not illegal.

This can’t go to a court. None of the incidents would be taken seriously by the CPS. This is right. We can’t go round putting anyone who tells someone they think is attractive in prison. We can’t fine everyone who gets frustrated and shouts at an employee. We can’t prosecute anyone whose hand brushes the knee or thigh of someone they work with.

There will be no trial. No judge will let him off. It’s only public opinion that can do that. Wouldn’t it be nice if creepy men weren’t continually protected and covered up for? Especially the powerful ones that are abusing their power. Wouldn’t it be nice if public opinion shifted so much that we stopped rewarding creepy men and stopped blaming women for, well, just being there.

Men like Noel Clarke harm  all of us. Next time you want to flirt with someone it will be more difficult because of this man. Let’s stop making excuses for them.