Your part in the Nativity….

 It’s that time of year where creative writers are allowed to write in newspapers. Serious news publications are stuffed to the stockings with articles that claim to predict your child’s future from the part they had in the school nativity play.

Roughly, it will go like this:

Mary & Joseph - not as good as you’d expect. Often a non speaking role; nice to look at but maybe not all that bright. However, they will do well in life if they keep their looks; always promoted above their abilities.

Kings - the wise men of the class. Can be relied upon to come in on time and say difficult words. The tax accountants of the future.

The star - overly dramatic but not annoying. To be found on cruise ships in her twenties and teaching in a primary school once she has children.

Photo of a fantastic Christmas card I received one year

Shepherds - this is the role the papers will convince you that you don’t want your children to have. Always late, forgetting their lines with a tea towel on their head. Future Amazon delivery drivers.

Donkey - what more do they need to say? The description is in the title. This child is a donkey and will grow up to be a donkey.

Inn keepers - children who can say ‘No’ loud and proud. These little creatures are no push over and will grow up to be whatever they want. These are the ones to watch.

Angels  - loud out of tune singers with a strong opinion of themselves. These will be the women to avoid at the school gate.

Farmyard animals - these are the stinky non-verbal kids. Despair now if your child is the Ox. You must be a terrible parent. There is no hope for your child, they’ll be lucky to even get a job.

Narrator - this child loves words and is a great reader. You can guarantee that the person writing the article was a narrator and is still a little miffed that they weren’t Mary or Joseph. Being a good reader should have got them a better paid job than this!

We all love it when the story fits the archetype.

So, when you read these articles you cast your mind back to your primary school days you think of the one King you know who is now a tax accountant and it confirms the stereotyping that we enjoy but you don’t think about all the children who didn’t have their lives defined by a play.

I watched the Harry and Meghan documentary last week and realised that they are a problem because they are refusing the archetype. In our fairy stories the brother of the future King is supposed to want to usurp his sibling and take the crown. His wife has to play the part of the evil Queen, pushing him in that direction. They want no part of it. This documentary is their way of showing that they are just quite boring people). Obviously, you won’t want to believe that. You’ll prefer the Daily Mail’s version, where everyone is cross with them for trying to bring down the royal family because this fits the archetype.

However, sometimes the donkey is just a child who is prepared to wear the costume and say hee-haw. Chill out parents. It is possible to break the archetype, not fit the story and just be boring. Most people’s lives would make a very tedious book or film.