Christmas Highlights

Can you even call yourself a woman if you don’t bullet journal your Christmas?

 Today marks the end of the tits and teeth Christmas. When I was younger it would be Christmas highlight day. School church service (always booked on my day off) followed by a drink and a mince pie on my own with a book in a coffee shop before going to the hairdresser. It was always a challenge not to nod off in the chair. Then I would go home a watch a Muppet Christmas Carol while making lists. Now that I have natural white streaks I can just get on with the process of catching up on the things that have kept other women awake for months.

I need to make lists. And check them twice. Presents, food, shopping, baking, cleaning, decorating, wrapping. This one day causes so much stress and women measure their value by its success or failure. There are TikToks to watch on how to cut carrots into Christmas tree shapes. The cupboards need to be stocked with food no one is allowed to eat because ‘it’s for Christmas’. First, though, those cupboards need cleaning. So much needs cleaning. I can’t invite people into the house with dirty skirting boards. Put the Christmas soap in the downstairs loo. The shower! Oh my God! The shower! Christmas will be ruined if it’s not draining properly. 

It’s true. There’s  a lot to do in four days. I really should get on with it but it can wait, right? Half a day of rest. I know most of you have been doing this stuff for ages but please tell me it can wait another day. Yes. That’s it I’ve decided . As long as there are enough roast potatoes everything will be fine and I promise not to punch anyone who asks me if I’m ready for Christmas. I’ve got 4 days, so I’m going to have my Christmas Highlights day without visiting the hairdresser.