Terracotta Camels

 I had the hump.

‘What do you mean it’s time to go out? I’ve only just got in and I’ve got humps to knit.’

It was the golf club Christmas Quiz, where, hilariously the pot luck round was followed by the general knowledge round and every history question set after 1945 was followed by the quizmaster saying, ‘you’ll remember that.’ I wasn’t good company because all I could think about was my humps.

The life of a primary school music teacher at Christmas is weird. I’ll admit that I am my own worst enemy. It isn’t necessary to make a 3 humped camel costume for one song in one performance but when the song is such a genius play on words that you don’t want the audience to miss, it’s unavoidable. Godfrey Humps. I have been excitedly talking about this fab song and how I want the choir to perform it at the choral society concert for a week now (which might not seem long to you but as every day seems to have 3 performances - it is actually a lifetime).

The Long Suffering Husband has listened patiently. Or so I thought.

However.

Every time I mentioned needing to work on the camel costume he said, ‘What camel?’ And I would tell him the story again.

I appreciate that it’s hard to keep up. So many concerts. So many camels. 

But.

When we were due to go to the quiz and I got the hump about my half finished humps I said, ‘I’m not telling you again.’

‘But I’ve forgotten,’ he said, ‘I have a memory problem.’

He doesn’t. 

He has the best memory of anyone I know.

He has poor listening skills.

In the 80s there was an advert for something I can’t remember where the girlfriend was talking and when she asked her partner a question he panicked and said ‘terracotta.’ Although we can’t remember what the advert was for, the LSH told our quiz partners that I was in a bad mood because of the terracotta camels.