She was only

 There’s been another rape and murder of a woman. The commentators are shouting, “She was only going for a jog.”

I have a problem with this.

It implies that there are things she could have been doing that would have justified this man’s actions.

“Well, what did she expect? Wearing clothes, leaving the house, being out after sunset. How could he have been expected not to rape and kill her?”

It makes me particularly twitchy because I do something women are not supposed to do. I walk at night. Alone.

I know! Terrible! 

It worries me, not for myself but for my family. How awful would it be for them if they had to cope with the double trauma of my death and everyone saying, “I always told her not to walk at night.”

The thing is, life is precarious. Bad things happen because of awful people and if they happen to you it has absolutely nothing to do with your virtue. It’s luck.

I have always been very bad at spotting a threat, which is probably why I will continue to put my family at risk of double trauma. 

When I worked in a bank someone tried to rob my till and I didn’t notice. He came to my window and slid a money bag through the hatch. It was empty and I looked at him, feeling confused. 

“Put everything from the top draw in it,” he said.

I laughed and said, “No, really, what do you want?”

He said, “I’ve got a gun.”

I laughed again and said, “Don’t be silly.”

During this exchange the woman on the next till had raised the alarm and the deputy manager chased the chap down the road and sat on him until the police arrived. It sounds very dramatic and as though I was terribly brave but I really had no idea of the threat. I had to have extra training but I honestly couldn’t say I wouldn’t do the same again because I genuinely thought the man was mucking about.

A similar thing happened on my way home from work on Friday night. 

Actually, it wasn’t similar at all but it was another example of how funny things can happen when you can’t see threat.

I was walking down a dark alley and a group of lads were on their way out for the evening. They were probably about 16 - a loud jumble of hair gel and aftershave. I didn’t look up, which I might have done if I had perceived their laddish banter as a threat.

“Hey babe,” one of the breaking voices said.

I smiled and not thinking that it was directed at me but only hearing the beginning of a song I replied, “Take a walk on the wild side. Do de do de do de do do do do.”

The Armani Code surrounded voice gulped and giggled and ran to catch his mates.

“0h no! I think I just made a pass at my old teacher.”

Poor lad. You’ve got to feel sorry for him. Do de do de do de do do do…..

She was only singing.