Linguists *WARNING - contains language*

 I see that linguists are back in the news.

The government has decided that all children* should study Latin and a random Lord has taken exception to the lovely Alex Scott’s Olympic presenting because she doesn’t pronounce the ends of her words^

Stephen Fry, beautifully and eloquently destroyed the Digby and Scott, herself was perfect in her riposte. Not only did she reply by saying that it was her South London accent and she was proud of it, she then opened the evening’s coverage by saying, “So far we’ve been runnin, ridin, shootin, scorin, swimmin and puttin,” with a perfect twinkle in her eye. The former minister has been interviewed this morning to say that it’s not an accent, it’s just wrong. In his opinion because the words end in g they should be pronounced. If I was the presenter I would have asked him how he says Ghislane, Beauchamps or Magdalen College.

The point about language, that any linguist will tell you is that it is a living, evolving creature and if enough people say swimmin, rather than swim-ing then that’s what it becomes. When the French invaded Leicestershire they didn’t insist that the people prnonouced their description of the place with a beautiful view correctly. The everyday Leicestershire folk had a go at copying and came up with Beaver (or Beeveh) and those of us that want to say Belle-vwah are confused. 

Wouldn't it be better if we all used a language that can't change? Why don't we all speak Latin? 

I don't have anything against Latin.  I would have loved to have been able to study it at school.  I went to a normal comprehensive school and there were only 8 people in the German O level class.  I'm guessing that would mean in most schools today that class wouldn't run because of the way schools are funded.  

It is understandable that the Education Secretary is looking to private schools to see how things could be improved for the hoi polloi. It's what they've always done. 

 Let's put them in little suits and boater hats. Makes no difference.

Let's give them lots of tests. Makes no difference.

Let's make them learn Latin.  It won't make any difference.

I have some suggestions of things that might make a difference.

Let's fund the state schools to the level of private schools. 

Let's make sure all children have their basic needs met and they have adults in their lives that love them.

Let's offer a broad range of subjects and encourage children to find their own strengths, rather than cutting the subject because no one else wants to learn the same thing. 

Latin is a great language.  It's good to have a dead language for naming things that you don't want people with different languages and accents to confuse.  Medicine, plants, scientific things, or things that are considered too rude to name in English.

This reminds me of being a teenager in the 6th form common room.  My friend (the only person in the school to take A level German) announced that she was going to be a linguist.  

"I've got in!  I've got a place.  I'm going York to study German and Linguistics.  I'm going to be a linguist."

One of the boys, that we suspected of stuffing a sock down his trousers, sniggered.  

"Ha, ha.  Are you going to be a cunning linguist?"

It was humiliating.  He brought her down from her well deserved excitement.

This was just after we had all learnt about the word from Not the Nine O' Clock News.  In their final episode they had a song called Kinda Lingers.  It was a terrible final song but all kudos to the team for getting such a taboo message around the censors.  I'm not sure how, as the image of Pamela Stephenson singing and wiggling her tongue around was fairly obvious. We all heard the latin word, looked it up and made it something we laughed about because it was far too rude to have watched with your parents. 

"It's Latin!"  My friend had recovered her composure.  Latin because the idea of pleasuring a woman is so disgusting to you men, best to use a dead language to avoid upsetting you. Lingus is tongue and Cunni is......well, I think that's obvious."

Oh, she was sassy.  I wonder what happened to her? 

I love language.  I love the way it evolves.  It's a shame that the Education Secretary has to be such a stultus about how to improve education.

Es stultior asino

*Except the 60% of private school pupils that opt out.  And not forgetting that many state schools already offer the subject.

^ most people suspect that it might be her skin colour or femaleness that he objects to but let’s go with the lack of final consonants.