Abs of tin foil and other progress

 In life, it can be easy to think you are making no progress but it’s the little wins that count. I’m someone that doesn’t have life sussed. I’m not on a march to great things but I am a plodder who takes small regular steady steps. Unfortunately life has a way of making you realise you are in the most difficult game of snakes and ladders and frequently slides you back to square one but if you keep plodding you get back, maybe not to the square you started on but sometimes somewhere completely different.

I like to think I’m a positive person with a hearty dose of sarcasm and realism. I’m not a great fan of the positive memes and often add an extra bracketed line in my head.  Eg “People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be,” Abraham Lincoln (“And their circumstances allow,” Me)

This summer holiday has flown by and I was thinking that I hadn’t achieved very much. I discussed this with a friend as we sat outside a coffee shop for a two hour catch up. When I got home I turned on my computer and was about to get cross about my laziness.  “Fancy taking such a long time out when there are words to write,” I told myself. Then I looked at the word count and saw it had topped twenty thousand words and thought that it was at least progress. My inner voice was obviously more critical. “Twenty thousand shit words, you might as well not having bothered written.” But I’m trying to ignore her. She’s such a Debbie Downer. 

I’m not a brave person. I still haven’t got the courage to shop in Silo because it looks intimidating. I might have to talk to people but I did get the courage to get a candle refilled at Miss Rachael and I was brave. Not, get on a plane and fly to Afghanistan to be a war correspondent, brave but brave enough to surprise the sales assistant. 

“Can I refill this?” I asked.

“The owner isn’t here. She does them but I can leave a message if that ok?”

“Oh yes that’s fine. I’ll come back Wednesday. Can you just tell her to put whatever she wants in - surprise me.”

The girl looked terrified. She held the pen over the pad and I could see it had started to shake. 

“It’s alright. I’m not brave with many things but what’s the worst that can happen? I might have a smell I don’t like or I might find something lovely that I wouldn’t have chosen for myself.”

She wasn’t sure.

When I went to collect it the owner laughed about how much the idea of a surprise had terrified her assistant. Luckily, my surprise smell was the scent of Summer, which didn’t include any blocked drains or cow pats. 

I know it’s not much but it felt like a win to think that I was brave in my purchasing of a smelly candle.

Then, this morning, there was another small win. I have been doing Adrienne’s yoga every morning for over two years without missing a single day. On her 30 day challenges, day six is an ab day. I have abs of jelly and have never been able to do the whole thing, usually spending more time than strictly necessary in a nice calming child pose. Today, however, I did it all. All the poses. All the repetitions. I texted my daughter to brag about my abs of steel, even though they’re not exactly steel - more like tin foil. 

So, I might not have done much this holiday but I have written some words, helped to build half a shed, developed abs of tin foil and risked my nostrils. I hope your Summer has gone at least  half as well as that.