Word Nerds

 Writers can spend hours agonising over the right word and the pleasure they get from finding the perfect phrase is nothing short of orgasmic.  The little wins over finding one little word can keep you on a high for days.  You walk around the house muttering the phrase over and over, chuckling and congratulating yourself on your genius.

If you are a word nerd yourself, or live with one then you can spot the signs.  There's a particular look in the eyes and a self-congratulatory smirk around the corners of the mouth.  

If you watch the press briefings then you frequently see this look on Boris Johnson.  He is, after all, a writer before he's a politician.  A bloody good writer too, which probably isn't something you can say about his political skills.  

"We need to hold our nerve....we're in a race towards the Great Global Festival.....we need to take personal responsibility......the overall situation is alas.......Think hard and in detail about the days ahead......A smaller Christmas is a safer Christmas.....Have yourself a Merry little Christmas."

The smirks popped out all over the place.  The GGF is fabulous, even I'm smirking and it never hurts to link to a song. Song writers are the biggest word nerds and have already done the work for you.  

Word nerds aren't new.  This pleasure is even mentioned in the Bible. Proverbs 15:23-26 tells us how pleased God is with our ability to find clever words.  

"What joy it is to find just the right word for the right occasion! Wise people walk the road that leads upwards to life, not the road that leads downwards to death.  The LORD will destroy the homes of arrogant men, but he will protect a widow's property.  The LORD hates evil thoughts, but he is pleased with friendly words."

The arrogant men have also found friendly words.

When I was at Uni I spent my holidays temping in London.  I could work a switchboard, type and had a good telephone voice, so I mostly worked on reception in big city banks and  for foreign market traders.  It paid really well and gave me the opportunity to observe lots of different people.  Champagne quaffing yuppies in red stripped shirts and braces slid across the carpet in front of me on their shiny shoes bragging about their Porsche, while the tea lady in floral pinny stopped for a chat to tell me about how her part of London wasn't the same any more.  In my final year I tried to get placed in offices that were doing the kind of work I might be interested in doing with a psychology degree.  I was particularly interested in advertising/marketing at the time and so was thrilled when a week's temp cover came up at a creative agency in Chancery Lane.  

The people were very different to those I had come across just a few steps east.  Instead of talking about money, deals and getting the receptionist to cover for them with their wives when they were in a hotel with a girl they were obsessed with words.  They still cheated on their wives but the light in their eyes over one word or phrase that could change the mind of the population bordered on madness.  

If you believe in signs then you would have came to the same conclusion that I did that this wasn't the industry for me.  Everything went wrong.  A big clock fell off the wall behind me, the fluorescent light above me exploded, there were several bomb alerts, a courier collapsed and had to be taken to hospital at the desk in front of me.  The partner had forgotten to tell me that his wife was the only person that shouldn't be told that he was at the Savoy and so he got caught out, when his companion answered the phone in his room. breathless and sweaty.  I even got stuck in the lift. I ended the week feeling exhausted from all the word excitement and decided that I wasn't pretty enough to work in advertising.

Except getting out of the lift in a powercut

  

Whatever you think about the government's plan to allow people to socialise at Christmas if they want to but to ask them to think about whether it's a good idea for their own circumstances (and this might be unpopular but I think it's the right thing) you may have missed that word nerdery has rubbed off on Chris Whitty.  I suppose it was inevitable.  The pleasure of finding the right words is catching; a drug that's safe.

"We're tantalisingly close to where the vaccine will protect anyone who could get into trouble over Christmas.......Keep it small....Keep it short.....Keep it local....And think about the most vulnerable.....Just because you can doesn't mean you should......You can drive at 70 miles an hour but in icy and wet driving conditions on a winding country road...you wouldn't....We are in icy conditions."

Then came the look.  The smirk.  Corners of the mouth turned up.  The eyes flashed wild.  That's it.  He's hooked.  Boris has infected JVT and now Whitty.  Even Hancock is trying but he's just odd and can't quite pull it off.