‘Tis the season

 ‘Tis the season for whatever makes you happy.

For Matt Hancock and the government it’s waiting for Dawn to come over the hill with her Scotch eggs. There was a briefing where Hancock seemed to have caught the metaphor disease. Unfortunately, he’s terribly middle class and so he had no references to classical literature or landing his light aircraft at Biggin Hill to offer and so we got Dawn. I don’t know about you, but when he said we were waiting for Dawn to come over the horizon, I pictured a woman, with a thickened waist and grey hair, in a pinny, pushing a tea trolly and shouting, “Tea up, Matt!”

Today the second lockdown ends and for us, in Essex, we are back in tier two. Obviously, some of Essex is in tier two for the first time because of Essex’ two unitary authorities. The rest of Essex is a two tier authority. The rules on how to be in tier two have changed again, so if you weren’t confused before, you certainly will be now. There are only so many times you can say two without getting confused about which two you are talking about.

Yesterday, when we were supposedly in lockdown, the park was heaving with people meeting friends for coffee, shivering in the icy wind coming off the estuary. I’ve never known anyone to be there on a Tuesday at 11 in winter before. The snack cabin owners usually close up and pop off to the Caribbean from the end of September but these are strange times.

Now, in tier two, we are allowed to meet people outside. Under lockdown two we were meant to stay at home unless it was essential but we could meet a friend on a park bench. Now, we can meet 6 friends outside the pub but only if we have a substantial meal. This has led the country to start discussing how big a Scotch egg would need to be to count as a substantial meal. One MP thought it was, another said that you’d have to have chips. You can’t socialise with anyone outside your family indoors although you can have a business meeting in a restaurant and bizarrely, this time round, no established relationship canoodling is allowed. I’ve told the Long Suffering Husband. 

However, none of that matters because the world is full of twinkly lights, we get chocolate for breakfast and parents are stressing about the elf. I see that a lot of people my age have strong opinions on the elf. It’s funny how we don’t like tradition being changed.

“Ooh, we didn’t have that in my day!”

I hear my mother-in-law’s voice in my head.

I have two conflicting opinions on the elf. 

1. If it makes the parents and children happy then that is fabulous, funny and creative. I love seeing all the ideas on social media.

2. Those elves are really ugly.

I admire people who have the time and dedication for a passion, like the man who built a squirrel obstacle course. I’m sure if I tried to do it then it would be a half hearted attempt and I would have lazy elves that just stayed in bed with a sign that said, “Not today!”

I think the rule for this advent has to be, “Do whatever makes you happy and try not to catch or spread coronavirus.” 

I’m going to walk and take pictures. The dog is going to walk and wait for his daily chocolate. The LSH is going to walk and play golf (hooray, the courses are open again). My daughter is going to walk and talk.

I see a common theme here. Walking makes you happy. These may be challenging times but it is heartwarming to see so many people out and about enjoying a walk.