The Olympics seems to be the only thing that isn’t cancelled. It is going to be a strange one, though because the athletes haven’t been able to train.
I wonder if I should write to the IOC with some suggestions of Olympic Sports that would be useful at this time.
I was thinking that we could have Skating on Thin Ice, Opening a Can of Worms, Hanging By a Thread, Flogging a Dead Horse, Going Between a Rock and a Hard Place, A Wild Goose Chase, The Blind Leading the Blind and Juggling Frogs.
I’ve been to Tokyo and highly recommend it as a destination, so I think I will put myself forward for some of them.
I can hear the commentary now. A nasal man with a moustache (actually it’s not a moustache is it? - it’s the edge of the microphone that looks like facial hair) comes on the screen.
”Now we have Julia stepping up to the plate...fresh from her win in Hanging by a Thread.....her skates are on....yes, she seems calm....she’s got this....it’s going so well....that’s a coping strategy right there....it’s her hundredth lap of the garden.....impressive skills....picking up a garden fork....maybe she’s going to plant some potatoes.....oh dear....she’s just remembered that people panic bought all the seed potatoes......now, that’s not nice to see.....the poor snail....beaten to death by a garden fork.....the ice is cracking.”
Anyone fancy joining me?
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