Altruism vs Egotism

I think it was Martin Luther King that said something like, “You get the measure of a man by how he responds to a crisis.” (I don’t think I should have put that in speech marks because it’s not an accurate quote and could be someone else entirely.)

We are now officially in a crisis and we are beginning to get the measure of people.

I have never been prouder of the place where I work and the people who work there.

For the last three weeks it has been hard to teach terrified children and it was the last day before the government has decided that schools must close. When they made the announcement they still hadn’t thought through the details of what that would mean, although they did know that they wanted schools to provide some continuation of learning and to continue to stay open to care for the children of key workers. It wasn’t until this morning that schools knew what that should mean. Still, no one knows how long this arrangement is to continue. However, schools started to plan for what they could do.

I woke up on Friday morning feeling incredibly anxious. I’m sure I’m not alone. Weirdly, my anxiety wasn’t about the virus or how my school would cope but was more about other people. Something  like this inevitably puts people into two camps: those that care and will pull together for the greater good and those that think only of themselves.  It’s the altruists vs the egotists and I always get anxious that the egotists win and the altruists burn out.  I remember studying altruism at university and being completely surprised that I was the only altruist in the group. The lecturer pointed out that the world needs people to have this value and that in the long run it is altruism that will save the world. My class were incensed.
“How could not putting yourself first be good for you?” they wondered.
I sat quietly, wondering how being so selfish could be good for anyone.

The main thing that worried me was that people were being asked to use their judgement to not be selfish. When the key worker list came out it said that if you could keep your children at home then you should. Within five minutes I saw people bragging on social media that they wouldn’t have to look after their own children. I thought then that schools could have people trying to claim their children should be in when their job wasn’t really in the definition of a key worker or was and they were actually working from home.

Then I worried that different schools would respond in different ways. Those with high levels of altruistic personnel  would be able to provide the right level of care but those with more egotistic workers would find it difficult to staff the situation. Egotistic heads would not even ask their teachers because they would be putting themselves first. As soon as the announcement was made, social media also filled with teaching staff complaining about not getting their Easter holiday or furious that they were still having to work.

Then, different schools and work groups started to brief against the others. One self congratulatory post from teachers that was copied and pasted before it was properly read was bookended with a media bashing.

Looking at the government document I became further concerned for schools with high levels of altruistic staff. It says that if you are a key worker and your school can’t accommodate your child you should contact the local education authority who would find a place in another school. This worries me because the worst thing you can do if you want to contain a virus is to start mixing in new communities and children do not understand social distancing.

I started out by saying how proud I was and it looks like I’ve veered off track but bear with me because I’m coming to the point.

I am lucky to work in a school with mostly altruistic staff. The senior management team now look like frazzled owls (except the swan - who always looks like a swan) but they have stayed calm, clear and have a plan. Parents have been contacted and all genuine key workers have been offered a place. Staff were asked about their personal circumstances and a list was made, the list turned into a rota, still giving everyone their two week break and having reserves. This has all been done with so much compassion. A learning pack that the children were excited about has gone out and online learning has been set up with iPads being loaned to the children that don’t have access. The team drove round to the house of every child who wasn’t in school to take them their learning pack.

A lot of this was done before Friday and part of my anxiety in the morning was a fear of our wonderful staff burning out. I was beginning to recognise the signs from when I did that before and it scared me. I knew that some of my boundary setting was slipping and my desire to be helpful was starting to overtake any thoughts of self care.

I have hope, though. When there are so many people working towards the same goal then breaks are possible.

It was a very strange and emotional day. The year 6 children didn’t know if they’d ever be back in school, the reception children couldn’t believe they were finished so soon after they’d started. I had spent the day reminding children of the rules of recorder playing (no squeaks, not at 3am, not behind your parents who are on a conference call, not on a long car journey, you can teach blackbirds to sing if you play in the garden).
 We had a final assembly.
It felt like end of term but without the joy.
We sang.
“When you’re feeling lonely and you don’t know where to turn. Hopes and dreams are fading and you bridges start to burn. Just remember when you look a friend is always near. So let your voice sing out again so everyone can hear....there’s a power in the music”

And boy, did those voices ring out.
I, and all the people I work with, will miss those children and will continue to blub every time we open an email with a child’s work in it.

I’m having my Easter holiday now, so in my usual fashion I will be eating chocolate, walking the dog, reading books and blogging random thoughts that pop into my head.