You might think that CHD, or Christmas Hyperactivity Disorder is something that only affects children and that at 17 my son would be too old to be taken out by this common condition. However, none of us are immune and I would advise you take precautions if you are suffering from any of the following symptoms.
1. You have looked at the calendar and realised that it is sometime between the 18th and 24th of December. Aternatively, you might notice that you have less than seven advent chocolates to eat.
2. You have shopped, thinking carefully about which presents your loved ones would like. You have stroked things and twirled around items that you would like them to buy you.
3. You have seen Santa (at least once), even if he was only outside the Supermarket.
4. You have brought a tree into the house to slowly die in the corner and have thrown lights and sparkly things at it. You might have reminded the dog that it is not an indoor toilet or removed the cat from the top. You will have probably complained that you don't get that proper Christmas tree smell any more.
5. You have stopped eating properly. You eat chocolate for breakfast, grab a mince pie for lunch and eat a sandwich on the run, while traipsing around the shops.
6. Your sleep patterns are weird. You fall asleep on the sofa whenever you sit down, lie in bed staring at the ceiling and wake at three in the morning to make lists before getting up at 6am because you can't think what else to do.
7. You have cleaned your bedroom, oven, freezer because you never know where Santa might leave your presents.
8. You have to talk to relatives.
These are the early symptoms.
Later symptoms can be quite severe.
1. Exhaustion.
2. Fever
3. Headache
4. Sore throat
5. Drippy nose
6. Cold-like symptoms
7. Man flu
CHD can even be life threatening. One year my Dad had a heart attack on the 23rd December. This sounds very dramatic but my Dad has heart attacks like you or I have colds. He goes to hospital and sits in A&E for a while, has blood tests taken, nurses walk in and stick thermometers in his ear without even talking to him and then he gets transferred to the cardiac ward where they say, "You again," laugh and tell him he can go home. This particular year, he had been suffering from all the early symptoms of CHD, which were particularly heightened by a longer than expected visit from some overseas relatives. While we were waiting, Santa was brought in on a trolley. Yes, that was the year that Santa died. Christmas Hyperactivity Disorder can be fatal.
If you are suffering from any of the early symptoms can I recommend you sit, feet up, with your favourite drink; eat something healthy and repeat the following mantra.
"It's only one day. It's just a roast. Presents are nice but not very important."
No comments:
Post a Comment