Protect the Children

Today, I had to ask my teenage son what the pin code was so that I could watch a film on Sky and realised that it's all the wrong way round.  The pin is meant to stop him accessing things we don't want him to see, not to stop me watching films from the eighties but he's the only one that can remember the code.  This incident made me think about misguided ways we try to protect our children in society.

Paul Dacre, the editor of the Daily Mail, was given nearly 2000 words in the Guardian today to defend his running of the 'Milliband's father hated Britain' story.  He was on a 'proper rant'.  There was no sign of any kind of apology and felt that giving Miliband 1000 words to respond was a huge demand that he had given in to.  Then he used the rest of the article to claim his paper was being hounded out of print  by left-wing Tweeters who live in London and the BBC.  He is clearly a man who is very frightened of Press Regulation and whilst I will never buy the Daily Mail I don't want to see it banned.  I would like it to think more carefully about some of the things it prints but  the world needs the Daily Mail.  We do need to read an article by Sarah Vine at the end of every summer holiday, where she tells us how much her children and husband have annoyed her.  We need to know that when Mr Gove isn't at work he is driving his wife crazy by doing stupid things like ordering crisps and coke from Ocado.  However, Paul Dacre made a fatal error in his article.  He claimed that the world needs the Mail because of it's campaign to stop paedophilia.  This made me think that this was another example of misguided protection of children, from the paper that has the sidebar of shame, with sexy schoolgirls, caption's Heidi Klum's 8 year old daughter's picture saying, "Mum's not the only leggy beauty in the family now."

I am a fan of a good nonsense song and I know lots and share them frequently with the children that I teach.  The sillier the words the better and if they are slightly risky the children enjoy them even more.  I love teaching keeping a pulse by singing,

 "Down in the Jungle where nobody goes a great big gorilla was picking his nose, 

He picked it and he flicked it and he through it up high and where it landed the person would die."  They have to pass the Gorilla snot around the circle in time to the song and they love it.

A fact of life - Gorillas like to pick their nose

Or adding an even trickier element of left and right by chanting, 

"Left, left, I had a good home and I left.  I left my wife and 48 kids.  Left them at home without any gingerbread.  Left because I thought it was right. Right, right, opsidaisy. Love is the only way left."

What am I teaching them?

Occasionally, a parent will ask, "What are you teaching my children?"  but I never think they are seriously trying to stop me using silly songs.

This week, however, I took part in Sing Up's wonderful live webinar training and they taught the nonsense song Step Back Baby.  I've used this song several times and the kids enjoy the rhyming elements.  I use it to teach pattern and the structure of music, pulse and just as a general warm up. Then some of the comments from other teachers shocked me. People were saying that they couldn't teach the song in their school or they think the song would give the children nightmares.  I went through the lyrics again:

"Not last night but the night before

Step back baby step back

24 robbers were at my door

Step back baby step back

Opened the door and let them in

Step back baby step back

Hit them on the head with a rolling pin

Step back baby step back

I picked up the frying pan

Step back baby step back

You should've seen the way those robbers ran

Step back baby step back

Some flew east and some flew west

Step back baby step back

Some flew over the cuckoos nest

Step back baby step back."

I always thought it was just a silly song and never even considered that it was about robbers and promoted violence.  I shouted at my computer,  "Change Robbers to Badgers and make it a topical song about culling."  Maybe these teachers have never heard what children do to songs when left to their own devices.  If you listen to children singing in the playground or remember your own playground songs then you know they sing about things you couldn't possibly teach them.

One of our school's favourite warm ups is Joe,

"Hey! my name is Joe and I work in a button factory

And one day my boss came up to me

He said, 'Joe!' I said,'Yo'

'Are you busy?' I said, 'No'

'Can you push this button with your right hand?"

Then he asks him to push with left hand, right leg, left leg head and then Joe finally says, 'Yes' to the question, 'Are you busy?'

Jo hard at work in her knicker factory (for Ellie)

When I teach it, it's always a button factory but I know that other children have changed it to knicker factory.  Maybe I should never have taught it, just in case the children decide to sing about pants. But on the other hand I think I'll just carry on and one day one of them might write the next Gangnam Style, Ice Ice Baby or Who Let the Dogs Out.