As virtually bald creatures, the ability to grow hair in a perfectly curved line above each eye is quite a trick. What's even more amazing is that those little bits of fluff on our face can communicate a whole range of emotions without us having to say a word. I am reminded of the puppet Spitting Image made of Roger Moore and For Your Eyebrows Only.
People without eyebrows look odd. When I was at university it was common to see permenantly surprised boys wandering around campus. It was a favourite game of the rugby club to de-eyebrow any lad who couldn't keep up with the drinking, who fell asleep or passed out.
Eyebrow fashions come and go for women. One minute they're natural, then they are virtually plucked to death or shaved off and drawn in. People may be talking about me behind my back but I have never touched my eyebrows. I think it was one of my mum's arty friends that put me off. She was quite an old lady (I thought) but she had died her hair a vivid orange colour, which was better than the blues and pinks that were popular with other old ladies and poodles at the time, and instead of real eyebrows she had a single orange line drawn above each eye. The girl on Educating Yorkshire has become a minor celebrity for shaving hers off and drawing big black wedges in their place.
Men seem to be allowed to have ugly or messy eyebrows. Although, the monobrow is no longer tolerated, the large bushy, continually growing eyebrows seem to be very popular on powerful older men. The extra long grey hair jutting out at an obtuse angle is worn like a badge of honour. It says, "look at me. I have superhuman power, I can command the minions with one twitch."
Today, I gave a lump of blue tack to a child who was struggling to sit still and listen. He divided it and made it into two long thin worms, which he attached to his face as eyebrows. Blue tack eyebrows are hilarious. I was trying so hard to ignore him too.
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