Miracles

 I’m here if you need me. Tap me up now. It might not last but I suggest you make the most of my superpowers while they last. I’m honestly not sure what they are or how you could make use of them but the fact that I am the source of miracles at the moment is the only explanation, so get in quick.

Yesterday. I taught, using Chromebooks. We used them for three lessons and not one single device ran out of power. Miraculous? I know? 

When I got home I made tea and burnt my hand on a tomato. I know that’s not the kind of miracle anyone wants but it was, nonetheless, miraculous. I had put some cherry tomatoes in a frying pan and started to squish them straight away. Although they were cold on the outside, some boiling hot pips leapt out and burnt my hand. 

Then the major miracle occurred. I fell down the stairs -What? That’s not a miracle - I hear you say. But…. …. My foot missed the 4th from bottom step. I stood on the edge of the stair and my sock slipped around my foot. “Oh,oh,” I thought. “This could be nasty.”

The next thing I knew I was cutting interesting shapes through the air, like a synchronised swimmer out of water, before landing on the offending right foot, on the floor in the hallway. My right foot, slowly descended to land in a perfect dismount. The judges held up their scorecards. Perfect 10s all around. A miracle.

So get in quick. I’m not sure how long these superpowers will last.