Mother's Day

I didn't want to find Mother's Day difficult. 

I knew I wouldn't see my children and as my Mum died in May last year it would be my first Mother's Day when I didn't have to apologise for forgetting.  We've never been a family to over celebrate things.  A wilted bunch of daffodils on Mother's Day, a packet of peanuts on Father's Day, a card on Valentines day.  We did Birthdays with gifts and parties and Christmas with bells on but never quite got into the other celebrations.  As a child, I didn't even like Easter and would end up with eggs I didn't want to eat.  Even though we've never been that into Mother's Day it doesn't mean I don't like it.

It's a celebration of women.  A chance for Dads and children to thank the women in their lives for all the unpaid work they do.  I love seeing all the pictures of women together on social media.  I'm not sure if it's just because I follow mostly women but Mother's Day does seem to be celebrated by Mothers and daughters.  Three or four generations of women eating Yorkshire puddings, drinking Prosecco, indulging in afternoon tea, or just posing in their best dresses and heels or comfortable clothes on a walk have filled my timelines today and it's just lovely.  Gushing praise for everything an adult daughter is grateful for, or a mother thanking their  teenage child for the bottle of Parma Violet glittery gin, or noting that their toddler ate the chocolates they gave them for mother's Day before they'd even got out of bed have all made me smile today.  People have also been able to share their sadness.  They have put pictures of mums that are no longer with us, or written on their timeline, or just been able to say how difficult they find the day. I've done enough of this and was hoping that today I would just be able to get on with cleaning the house and enjoying other people's photos.

However, a new thing seems to have happened this year.  People are prefacing their joy with a recognition that it will be a hard day for some and suggesting that those of us who are going to find it bittersweet look away now.  Other people might feel differently but I can't understand why you would begrudge other people's happiness.  I kept seeing these posts and wondering if there was something wrong with me, maybe there is but I don't want to be sad all the time.

Maybe if we had more ways to celebrate women and didn't define them just by their reproductivity then it would be easier.  I'm sure Father's Day won't make men who haven't had children, or who have lost their Dad feel like failures.  

Someone on my timeline posted a quote: "Mothers are like buttons.  They hold everything together."

I laughed and thought, "And they pop off, unexpectedly." 

My humour is too dark for all this sentimentality.  Here is a nice picture of my me with my Mum and our dog, who had her puppies in the coal shed, which I offer in compensation.