A return to beauty and fitness

That's it.  Enough moping about. I've sat around being miserable about having a croaky voice for too long now.  It's time to get back to normal.

My usual fitness routine involves walking the dog, swimming and digging my allotment.  The dog has had to put up with short, on-the-lead-walks, due to the rain and in case he decided to take his own route.  There's no point trying to shout "heel", "sit" or "come" if no sound comes out.  I haven't even bothered to try to swim or dig the allotment.

Why didn't I trust the dog?  It's not raining so we went for a long, soggy walk.  He was as good as gold, walking by me looking at me adoringly the whole time, wondering if I had anything tasty to eat in my pocket.  I had absolutely no need to shout at all!

I haven't quite managed to get back to the allotment but I am feeling slightly more positive about going.  The seed catalogue came yesterday and I've started planning what I'm going to grow.  There is no better feeling than wondering how many rows of carrots will grow or debating whether to try something exotic like Kohl Rabi or whether to stick with Mussleburgh or try Neptune for my leeks because they look like they have more white.  You can flick through the pages and see perfect veg that most of us can only dream of.

Radio 4 is running a series called Turf Wars and episode one is brilliantly funny. It is completely inspiring me to get back and spend time with these wonderful characters again.  My mum pointed it out to me and said she thought they'd got there before I could write it.  If only I were that clever but the idea of Mr Coggen hoeing in his underpants and growing cabbages that aren't in a straight line really appeals to me. Listen to it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/turfwarsepisode1

I love swimming.  I'm one of those sad middle aged women who swims breaststroke keeping her head too far out of the water (although in my case it's so I don't wash my contact lenses away, rather than worrying about spoiling hair and make up).  I don't go fast enough for the tri-athlete, power swimmers and I'm too fast for the other middle aged women so I end up just annoying everyone.  There is something about the blueness of the water and the light in the pool that just makes me cheerful.

There is also the beauty element involved in swimming.  Everyone needs a good skincare routine and swimming is part of mine.  When I was in the shower today, two little boys were washing their hair next to me, having just finished their lesson.  One of them was jigging up and down and so his mum took him off to the toilet.  The other boys mum said, "Hurry up Oliver because you probably need to go to the toilet as well."  Oliver looked her squarely in the eye and said, "No, I went in there!" pointing at the pool.  Poor Oliver's mum, she flushed, prayed for the ground to open up and swallow her and sheepishly said to me, "Oh, I'm really sorry."  I had to laugh and I told her not to worry because he wouldn't have been the only one.  She seemed to think that made the whole thing worse so I told her that even Michael Phelps admitted to peeing in the pool.  Despite linking her son to an Olympian she still wasn't convinced that I wasn't going to report her and her son to the 'wee police'.  So I told her about how good urea is for the skin.  "Urea causes hard dry skin cells to "unpack" and expose their water binding sites, thus enabling the cell to absorb and retain additional moisture. This action is also known as hydrotopic solubilization and several independent clinical investigations and studies prove that it works."  After all, everyone needs a skincare routine.