MP

 As if we haven’t had enough.

A post-pandemic period is always a twitchy time. Will it lead to a boom or bust? Will there be war? We are all on hyper-alert for the next disaster. Measures to curb the Coronavirus have changed society forever. 

Now there’s a new threat: MP

During the pandemic you might have started to follow members of the government or epidemiologists in attempt to get clarity. Whichever you followed, you are now aware of the new MP threat.

There’s the member of parliament who has been arrested for rape and been asked not to go into Westminster but is still free to mingle, unchecked with his vulnerable constituents.

There’s partygate and the furious people who have been fined for attending the party that the Prime Minister went to without incurring a fine.

There’s also a member of parliament responsible for culture who is so stupid that she boasted about doing what Netflix have been trying (unsuccessfully) to tell us is illegal. 

All those MPs are bad enough but when you follow epidemiologists then the MP they are talking about is monkey pox, which sounds both terrifying and bizarre. It’s like a curse from the 1600s. A malfeasance sent by witches (I’m reading The Manningtree Witches which is good if you don’t mind looking up lots of words).

I’m concerned that this is my fault. I’m sure during the pandemic I cursed Boris Johnson during one of his TV appearances. I shouted at the telly, “You bumbling idiot. Be clearer. A pox on all your monkeys!”

Oh dear, I shouldn’t say that. Monkey pox would be bad enough but being burnt at the stake sounds worse.