Do I need a brain scan?

It's day five of a storm headache and making sense of anything is getting more and more challenging. I'd forgotten about the weather affecting me like this and was seriously considering requesting a brain scan until a friend sent a message, which said, "How's your head 🌩". She's a genius. The world hasn't turned into an incomprehensible place with treacle for air, it's just the atmospheric pressure. 

Although.

The world is a bit weird.

Actually, it's a lot weird. 

It's so weird that I think someone might be having a laugh.

The politicians have had enough. They've thrown their hands up in horror and said, "Bugger this. Can't be bothered anymore. Let the whingers have their way." Despite most politicians being on the remain side of the EU referendum, only we only heard from Cameron, who has only managed threats and fear mongering . Corbyn was suspiciously silent, making his supporters believe he really wanted to vote 'Out' but was being forced to back 'In' by some invisible Blairite force. 

The facts seem to be on the Remain side. Even the Washington Post has printed an article saying that Britain has gone mad to even consider Brexit because we are doing very nicely from being in the EU but not one Politician in Britain has mentioned this. The financial markets have already lost billions, scared that the UK population will vote Brexit.

Feelings, however, are firmly with the Leave side. After so many years of this Conservative government telling us how dreadful everything is we feel poor and oppressed. Freedom is the cure. It doesn't matter what we are free from, just stop oppressing us, man.

 

People are miserable. Staff room conversations have never been more depressing. Even the children have stopped doing funny things and are just moaning about each other.

Nigel Farrage has said he will give up politics and get a proper job if we vote out. You've got to admit it's tempting. 

There was a flotilla of little Brexit boats down the Thames and a huge boat with Remain supporters came the other way. Bob Geldof and Nigel Farage had a fight. This is the stuff of cheese induced dreams. 

The fathers of Michael Gove and Boris Johnson are quoted in the Guardian as saying their son's ideas are bonkers.

The Remain campaign is asking its supporters to display a poster inside. I've put ours on the fridge but I don't think it's doing much good there.

A immigrant taxi driver was interviewed about why he was voting out and he said that he drove English people around all day and night who accused him of stealing their jobs but when he asked them if they would like to take his night shift from him they all refused. "Leaving the EU would make the British less lazy. They'd have to do the jobs that only immigrants are prepared to do now."

The Disney alligator stole a child and took him to Neverland to live with Peter Pan.

David Dimpledknees is rolling his eyes so loudly they are likely to get stuck at the back of his head.

Michael Gove is wearing sheepskin over his wolf suit and is starting to make sense. He might eat granny but he will send us off for a good night's sleep. Sheep, meanwhile, are getting stuck on their backs because they have too much wool.

There are Buffalo on Countryfile engaging in a spot of mob grazing, sporting Gove hairstyles.

New words are being made up every day. The portmanteau is King. I imagine a Brexiteer to be a sort of superhero who eats Weetabix and leaps tall buildings in a single bound. 

So, I'm wondering. Do I need a brain scan? Have I fallen into a weird Lewis Carroll  type dream? Will the dog start telling me that I'm late? (Probably not as he's too busy barking at the sky but what if the sky starts barking back?).

Could it be dangerous to have a brain scan?  Will they find a herd of squirrels running around, hiding their nuts or little men, as in the numbskulls cartoon, but in the midst of industrial action: striking for more pay and better working conditions?