Never too old for a noodle

School holidays are great.........

Except the swiming pool is weird.

There are children in it.  

 The adult lane swim isn't at lunchtime, it's at 10am or soon after that depending on aqua-fit, which seems to be middle aged women floating around in the water to music.

At 10.45, with another 18 lengths before I reached my target, they started to circle. Dropped off by parents hoping for a spot of housework that wasn't ruined within 10 minutes.  They gathered in the coffee area, chatting loudly.  "Hello Miss," they waved and pointed. The other people in the pool looked at me disapprovingly.

"They're here already," said a man with a large by-pass scar on his chest.
"Hmm.  They're like sharks."
"Better get out then," another woman said to a passing swimmer.
"Oh, it seems like a very short session.  I can't believe they're here for their, what do you call it? fun for all session."
"Ha! Fun for all.  That's a laugh. It's no fun for us. All that splashing!"

I kept swimming. 

By the time they were allowed in, screaming, laughing and splashing I only needed another four. 

I swam more, negotiating my way  through the toddlers in boats, dive-bombing teenagers, balls, floats and colourful noodles. It did seem fun. 

While I was floating and getting my breath back, the lifeguard at the bottom of the flume caught my eye. He took a break from assessing which children we would be prepared to risk his life for and which he'd happily let drown and said, You're brave."

"No, I hadn't finished."

"But the children."

"Oh, they don't worry me. They're having fun." 

"You should tell that to the other old gits that were in the pool with you."

"Excuse me!! Other?"

I grabbed a floating noodle and tried to rest my feet on it, flipping myself into a full backward somersault. Ignoring the lifeguard's shuddering shoulders I leapt up with as much dignity as I could muster, smiled and said, "You're never too old for a noodle."