Sign Language.

Five days ago my voice took a holiday.  It said, "Excuse me but I think I've worked hard enough and I need a rest, so I'm off to the Bahamas.  It would be great if you came with me but if you insist on staying here and working, then you'll have to do it without me!"
"Fine," I said huffily, "You do know it's the busiest time of year?"
"Yes," said my voice, "and I don't care.  You've used and abused me for too long and I can't take it any more   I'm off."
I tried to argue, to cajole, bribe and persuade.  I promised to take more care of it in the future.  I promised to drink lots of water, to always warm up properly.  I promised never to try to raise my voice above a crowd of children.  Unfortunately, no one could hear me because true to his word my voice had gone (I do think my voice is a he - single minded enough to just do his own thing!)

The Long Suffering Husband struggles to hear me at the best of times,  "You never said!" being one of his favourite phrases but now he is finding communication with me almost impossible.  He can't seem to make up his mind between asking me to repeat myself and telling me not to speak because I need to rest my voice.

It feels so rude not to be able to speak.  Shopping without saying please or thank you just feels so wrong.  The fact that no sound appears hasn't stopped me trying to speak and I'm often joining in conversations without anyone hearing a word I'm saying.  The person who runs the sign language club said she could teach me a few appropriate signs but she'd also have to teach everyone that I talk to.

In the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer the Grandfather is an elective mute.  I can't imagine choosing not to speak as talking is one of my favourite hobbies but this character has seen so many horrible things he chooses to say nothing.  He also struggles when he has to talk and carries a note book around with him, which I have started to do but that is also frustrating because I don't have good handwriting and I can't write as quickly as I think.  The grandfather has YES and NO tattooed on his hands to make for quick answering.

Whilst tattooing is a little bit too permanent for my liking but at the Long Suffering Husband's suggestion I have used a biro to make my own answer signs.  The beauty of it is that it also incorporates a universally understood sign.

So when the LSH next asks me if I want a cup of tea I can answer:

And when he asks me if I've done the ironing I can answer:

PERFECT!