Normal Service Will Resume Shortly

Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could occasionally put up a test card for your life? There could be a big band playing a Seventies countdown type tune, just to let everyone know you're not on top form but the usual programmes will begin again soon.

I spent a lot of time watching the test card as a child.  I liked the little girl but I thought the doll she was playing noughts and crosses with was a bit spooky.  Sometimes I thought he moved. Children don't know what they're missing now.  There's never any down-time.  Never any time to watch the spooky doll and wonder if he's watching you.

Recently, I've had my test card up but today was the first day for weeks that I thought I could add the caption, "Normal service will resume shortly."  

When you work with children you can feed off their energy.  They keep you going when you would normally want to curl up in a ball and pull the duvet over your head.  Full of cold, coughing, sneezing and generally leaking all over the place I carried on because I had things planned for the kids to do. 

Today, I started to get excited about the coming term, the class assemblies, Christmas Carols, plays and I even got excited about putting displays up. 

Then it all went wrong.  Still coughing,  I was sitting on the edge of my chair during assembly, changing the music and words for the hymns.  The children were sitting quietly, listening when suddenly an invisible sprite pulled my chair from underneath me.  The chair collapsed and I landed on the floor with a loud crash.

I was already embarrassed at disturbing the assembly with my coughing and hoped the ground would swallow me up.  The children didn't seem the slightest bit bothered and my colleagues were greatly cheered up.  "That made my Friday." "That was so funny.  I could see your head and then there was a crash and it was gone."

I was looking forward to the afternoon singing, "It's a long way to Tipperary." and "Pack up your troubles."  Two wonderful partner songs (they don't write them like that any more)   

Taking the register, I realised that the coughing had taken it's toll and I wasn't able to sing, so I tried to take the register normally but it just confused the children.  Instead, I suggested they could answer by saying yes in any language.  We had French, German, Spanish, English, Australian (G'day Mate), Japanese, Chinese and then near the end one child answered, "Oooo oooo oooo oooo".

"How long have you been able to speak monkey?" I asked.  The boy looked confused, the class laughed and I coughed.

I wish I had recorded the lesson.  It turns out that you do need to be able to sing to teach singing.  I always thought that I was just lucky and the children at my school were just 'good' singers but today showed something else entirely.  I've never heard quite such out of tune singing.  It was really funny and so I coughed.  Instead, I decided to march.  Could they keep time to the music?  Did they know their left from their right?  Could they lift their knees straight?  

"Atten-shun.  By the left.  Quick...........mince!"

So, next week will be better.  Normal Service will Resume.  Whatever normal is.