Funny and Fine

 My ‘return to blogging’ blog worried some people. I am, obviously, perfectly fine. Not only that but I’m in a much better place than I’ve been for seven years. Anyone who knows me, and sees me on a daily basis knows that. Not wanting to blog came out of a fear (clearly accurate) that I would have a compulsion to let it slip that the path to recovery isn’t one straight upwards line. Weirdly, I felt shame about going a little bit backwards. However, I am living a great life.

In Playground, the Richard Powers’ novel that was on the Booker Prize list (yes I did read the whole list - don’t tell me I’m not living my best life), he has a character write an essay for a school entrance exam to show how clever he is. The theme of the essay is something about the most important characteristic of a person needs to have a good life. This character concludes that it is sadness because if you can’t feel sad you have no empathy. If you’ve read any books by Richard Powers then you’ll know there were far more words than that but as I read I was thinking that he had it wrong. We all feel sadness but not everyone feels empathy. Some people get stuck in their own sadness and can’t look out.

For me, it is a sense of humour that is most important. Being able to laugh gets us through the worst. Ask anyone who has sat around the bed of a dying loved one and they will recall moments when they laughed. Sometimes they will tell you those stories with a sense of shame but it is laughter that gets you through. 

Laughter and books.

That’s all it takes. 

The beauty of these two things is lost on some people, especially men of a certain age who have a lot to say about my hobby of reading and walking. I’ve even been asked if my husband minds. You have to laugh at that!

If it wasn’t for laughter and books I wouldn’t have had one of the best evenings of my life last night.

It was the bookshop quiz. Every answer was book related and I took my family, who love a quiz but don’t read very much. I explained that everything is a book. Every film, TV series, major idea was a book first. Readers are the true pioneers of early ideas but everyone catches up with the best ones eventually. 

It was a hard quiz but there were also cocktails and in the end we came 3rd, because the non-readers have a better memory than me and everything was a book first.

The most difficult round was where you were given a quote from a book and you had to say where it was from. Any line from any book in any genre from any period. Words swam. They seemed familiar. I wrote them down in my notebook. Then I guessed. This round was entirely down to me.

“Oh, I’m sure I’ve read that,” I said.

“It could be anything. It’s just words.”

“This is hard.”

I looked at what I’d written for question 4.

“Whatever arseholes are made of his and mine are the same.”

I was sure I'd have remembered that.

"Maybe it's Sally Rooney," I said, "It's the kind of thing she'd write."

We all agreed because none of us enjoyed Normal People (either as a book or film)

Then someone across the room said, "I don't know the book but I've seen it when I was looking at quotes for my wedding."

My eyes popped out of my head and the old sniffy prudish lady in my worried about the youth of today.

When it came to the answers they read out the quote again and told us that it was Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte (a favourite of mine).

Have you ever laughed so much it hurt? We all did. We will for ages.

"Arseholes!" someone will only have to say.

"It should be a quote. I can read it at your wedding,' my son offered my daughter.

"Honestly though, someone should write that. It could be Sally Rooney. She does write about arseholes."

I'm sure you've worked it out already but 'Our Souls' and 'Arseholes' sound remarkably similar in an Essex accent.

Really, I am living my best life.