Donald Duck

 A picture can win or lose an election. Think of Ed Miliband’s ugly mouth chomping down on a bacon sandwich. Ed Davey played to this strength by having the most fun on an election campaign - ever. 

What would do it in America? 

He could take a bullet for his country.

So patriotic. 

Shoot him in the head and have him survive? Perfect. What about his brain? What brain?

I remember watching the attempted assassination  of Ronald Reagan when I was small and worrying that his security men had squashed him. The report of the gun rang out and he was pushed onto the floor with 20 muscular men on top of him. 

‘I hope he can breathe under there,’ I remember saying.

This time, with Trump, the security were not so quick. There was time for Trump to expose his head and chest for the greatest shot of all time - and I mean the photo. 

I love a conspiracy theory and my first thought when I heard was, ‘Well that was a set up.’ However, there are some things to bear in mind. 

1. He’s not the president, so the security detail would have been less.

2. The security person closest to him was a woman and I do not blame her for not throwing herself on top of a self-confessed pussy grabber.

3. This has been a divided campaign that has purposely stirred up aggression on both sides (You might not have seen the Biden punch bag that people were encouraged to kick, punch or stab)

4. Trump isn’t famously known for following orders.

5. When they shouted, ‘Donald, duck!’ He is likely to have jumped up and said, ‘Where? He’s my favourite, after his uncle. Don’t you just love Scrooge

6. American mass shootings are common. There were 630 in 2023. That’s roughly two a day. 

7. They have the shooter’s gun. An AR-15. Legal in many states, the choice of school shooters and not known for pinpoint accuracy. 

8. The shooter, Crooks, now dead, fits the profile of a mass shooter. White, 20, loner, bullied at school, wore hunting outfits, played video games where you pretend to shoot the president and named Lee Harvey-Oswald as a hero. 

9. There were casualties. It’s not all about Donald Trump. Corey Compertore, a 50 year old former fire fighter died, 57 year old David Dutch and James Copenhaver are critically ill from gunshot wounds. Those who were slightly injured, grazed or just scared shitless are not worth of a slightest mention in the press. 

The only conspiracy that the USA need to face is the idea that guns make them safer.