What rhymes with Jeremy?

 There was speculation that the teacher’s strike would never be over. The pay review body recommended 6.5%. The government stalled. The chancellor, Mr Hunt, said that if the Department of Education  wanted to give that recommended pay rise then it would have to come out of existing budgets.

This was discussed over the staff room stable at an end of term meeting, where frazzled teachers with more to fit in, in the time that’s left, despaired. How to handle the following week’s ‘sexy time’ lessons made way for fears that the strikes would never be over. 

No one likes strikes, particularly those losing pay and time to finish all their work. 

“It’s all the fault of Jeremy Rhymes with…..,” said one teacher. 

Among the murmurs of agreement were a few questioning, ‘What rhymes with Jeremy?’ And although my first thought was ‘enemy’, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. My overly stressed brain is procrastinating with the thought. I wake up in the middle of the night.

Jeremy wants to stop prosperity.

Jeremy should be in therapy.

Is Jeremy really necessary?

Jeremy has a slug’s dexterity.

Jeremy should resign voluntarily. 

Jeremy is inciting union solidarity.

Jeremy would like to return to the days of barony.

Jeremy doesn’t understand parity.

The idea of Jeremy’s demise causes some hilarity. 

Jeremy could be verily and merrily dismissed with sincerity by the military.

Jeremy is a parody.

And so on. Every night for two weeks.

However, it turns out that the Department of Education have bigger balls than Jeremy (or a surplus in their own budget, which they haven’t been using) and were able to fund an extra 3% of pay rise. Most schools have budgeted for 3% so they only have to find the 1/2%. Simple. No problem at all. Everyone is mightily relieved. 

Maybe I can stop rhyming in my sleep now and leave the rhyming to Fascinating Aida for their next tour.