Everyone has a theory

 I’m feeling grumpy today. I have a feeling that I’m not going to be fun to be around. You may think you know why. You could theorise that:

a) It is the end of the half term holiday

b) I’ve not read enough books

c) It is cold and windy

d) I’ve spent too much time in 1882

e) It’s close to some anniversary or another

f) The husband did it

You might be right or not but it’s fun to play armchair detective.

I’ve been thinking about that missing woman and her poor family (especially the children) that are splashed all over the news as our appetite for a pretty blond, middle class, missing woman knows no bounds.This story is one that everyone is talking about.

. “People don’t just vanish,” “I don’t trust the sister.”  . “It was the husband.” “The police don’t know what they are doing.” “A spaniel would be in the water with her.” “Has anyone checked the pump house.” “I’m sure there’s a load of refugees staying in that caravan park.” “It wasn’t even her on that bank - her sister dressed up as her so her husband could murder her because they’re having an affair.” “Her friend has too much make up.” “The police are watching the husband.” “That’s no shadow, it’s a bruise.” “No mother would leave her children.” “Her phone wasn’t on the bench it was in a tree.” “I’ve studied body language and I can definitely say the husband has dark hair.” “I’ve had menopause, it definitely makes you want to kill yourself.” “Stop victim blaming. Menopause is irrelevant .” “She’s bound to have been abducted.” “Has anyone considered aliens?” 

I can’t help feeling that if she’s gone off for a bit of a rest then none of this speculation will make it any easier for her to come back. 

In March 2020 there were 3300 adults who were long term missing. People do just disappear. 

Seemingly happy people do end their own lives. Check out the last photo project fromCALM

Husbands do kill their wives but there was a ten minute window that this missing incident happened and this husband’s whereabouts are documented on camera (Big Brother doesn’t stop the conspiracy theorists)

Water swallows bodies. I worked with someone whose husband never returned from a sea fishing trip. She was told to presume he was dead (his things were found on the cliff he was fishing from) and not to expect to find a body. It happens. It’s awful. My brain is rifling through all the newspaper reports of young people who went missing on nights out and the subsequent article 3 months later where their body is found in a canal by a fisherman. I remember a story from about the same time as the sea-fishing-incident in the 1980s where a foot in a trainer was washed up on a Scottish beach - the gruesome truth being that no one will ever know if that was their loved one and the rest of them was probably eaten by a hungry sea monster (big fish - in case you are getting more worried about me). By all accounts these incidents of a single foot in a trainer are becoming more common, which is thought to be because trainers are even more indigestible than they used to be.

Life isn’t easy. Death is a bugger for those left behind. Maybe we could cut everyone a little slack and allow them not to be perfect. I’m grumpy and horrible today. You can be too, if you need to be and you can talk about it  or not. Not everything a puzzle that needs to be solved by someone with a theory.

Here’s a picture of Happy Little Hector, encouraging me to keep reading. He’s cute. I’m hoping he’ll cheer you up after my grumpy blog.