Tuesday 27 September 2022

Sleepless in Trickledown

 Last Saturday morning I started to write a blog. I didn’t publish it because I couldn’t believe what I had written. I’d started to write to talk about how the world is affecting the one night a week when I sleep well and I was going to write about lying in the dark and how it feels to wonder if you will ever sleep again but reading it back I didn’t need any more. I should have just published. 

This is what I wrote:

Normally on a Friday night I sleep.

Not only do I sleep but I sleep well. I’m exhausted because I don’t sleep for the rest of the week and I’ve had a busy but satisfying day. Don’t ever tell me that getting 30 ten and eleven year olds to play recorders together isn’t both exhausting and satisfying. I’ve ended my week in the best way possible with the best people, making music that really does sound nice,  waving my arms and telling jokes that only they laugh at. Then I come home, flop on the sofa, dog on lap and watch Gardener’s World. Who could fail to sleep after that?

Last night, though, it was spoilt by the News.

The Long Suffering Husband said, “Do you mind if I put the News on?I want to hear about the budget announcements.”

I didn’t mind. I like the news and I’ve been a bit out of the loop. All news stopped when the Queen died. Except it didn’t stop. It was walled  up behind the dam and so this week’s deluge has been overwhelming. I played ostrich and pretended not to look.

I sat. My jaw slackened. My face mirrored that of the BBC political editor as he interviewed Kwasi Kwarteng about the plans. Chris Mason went from shocked to confused to covering his mouth to stop himself asking what planet the Chancellor was living on.



“I don’t understand,” I complained to the LSH. “They had no money, there’s been a pandemic that cost a fortune, a war that’s costing squillions, they’re bailing everyone out with their fuel bills because they don’t want to ask the energy companies to spend their profits but they can give everyone a tax cut. How?”

Maybe they’ve found Theresa May’s fabled magic money tree?

We will all have a little more money in our pockets but the risk is that it bankrupts the country, at a time when borrowing is at an all time high. It’s not even as though they’ll have anything to show for it. No new hospitals. No increase in public housing stock. Schools won’t be able to buy more PrittSticks (other glue may be available). But we will all feel better. I’m guessing that the idea is that with more money we will feel happier, like the conservatives again and spend thereby boosting the economy.

I can’t imagine anyone will think this is a good idea.

It turns out that I was right. No one thinks it’s a good idea. The news, however, hasn’t got any less stressful for an over thinker. Even the IMF thinks Kwarteng is on something. City bankers are worrying about the future cost of their huge mortgages. Schools are sacking TAs left right and centre. Strikes are planned for the winter. Russia are blowing up gas pipelines and pretending it was an accident and NASA are blowing up things in space by crashing into them just to make sure they can. It’s storm season, with Fiona and Ian already proving the climate change has been tough in the giants too. Meanwhile, the health service is still buckling, food banks are receiving less donations (because trickle down turns out not to be very effective at all) and Chanel 4 have launched a tv programme to find the next Prime Minister, with David Cameron choosing. 

Honestly, there’s nothing to see here. I wonder why I can’t sleep!

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