Coronavirus Update

Warning: This update is being given my someone who is pretending not to have an anxiety/panic disorder. However, in the light of the recent announcements I’m going to be like the BBC and try to answer some questions.

Am I going to die?
Yes. We all are, one day.

I was going to end the blog there but I realised you have more questions.

Am I going to die of the Coronavirus?
Maybe. No one knows what will kill them. It seems to be killing about 0.001% of populations across the world in this outbreak, so you could be unlucky.
Boris Johnson says, “We are all going to lose loved ones in this crisis before their time.” Will I ?
No. None of us know when our time is. We die when we die. We aren’t given an expiry date and anything at any time could kill us.
Is a pandemic worse than an epidemic?
No. They are two words. The first means a bug that affects lots of people at once in several countries and the second is used in just one country.
What about when it gets to be endemic, surely it can’t be stopped then?
Endemic is another word. It means common in a population, like the common cold is endemic in Britain and cystitis is endemic in married women.
Can this virus be stopped?
No.
Why am I washing my hands then?
You should always wash your hands, you dirty beast. Soap breaks down viruses. There are lots more viruses to worry about. You’ll get less colds if you wash your hands.
Can our health services cope with Coronavirus?
No. They weren’t coping before. Staff are on their knees. The service is underfunded and under-resourced and under -respected. It won’t cope with a few more people than expected going to hospital.
If I’m not going to die, why should I change my behaviour?
When governments look at the data and weigh up the evidence they make decisions about what people should do in the best interests of the whole population. Would it really hurt you to just follow their advice for the sake of the population?
Should schools close?
Luckily for me, that’s not my decision. If governments decide to close schools it will be because they have decided, on balance, it’s the best thing for the whole population. I don’t know enough about it and nor do you (probably)
Should I ring up the local paper to report my neighbour who has just come back from Italy?
No. Don’t be a dick. Remember Nazi Germany.
Is it alright to terrify myself and my children by only watching news about Coronavirus or only clicking on the links that tell me how bad it is going to be?
No. Stop scaring your children. They are terrified. Stop watching only the news. Click on links about people who have done nice things (papers write what you want to read).
Do I have to stop touching my face?
It’s impossible. Try it? A child at school tried it yesterday. She had an itchy eye and tried, desperately not to rub it. Eventually, in frustration she shouted, “Oh, my eyeball!”

I have decided to make this my new Coronavirus related expletive.
“The world is going to end.”
“Oh, my eyeball!”