My general anxiety levels have gone crazy. I just don’t know what to worry about first or even next. I am concerned that I write a blog that I publish in real time and I haven’t mentioned Brexit and the weird collapse of our country for a while. In years to come, historians will look back at what people wrote and if they stumble upon this blog they could come conclude that everyday, boring people, like me, just weren’t worried about what was happening. They’d be wrong.
I guess that most of us are so worried that we are trying not to think about it. We are busily trying to get on with our lives, pretending everything is normal, asking themselves if they feel strong enough before they switch on the news, read a paper or look at social media.
However, not looking, thinking or talking doesn’t make the anxiety go away. You still feel it. That elephant sitting on your chest, a desire to run away, a thought about whether it’s all worth it. The dry mouth, lack of sleep and feeling that if only you keep your sock drawer tidy the inevitable cataclysm can be avoided. The small things you normally worry about replace the real anxiety and you find yourself crying over your cereal about not having done the ironing.
Here’s a list of some of the things I’m really worried about.
1. Brexit has irretrievably divided and ruined our country.
2. Racists are rampant.
3. People can’t stop talking about the Second World War as though it was a brilliant thing.
4. The Empire too, what does it mean to you?
5. Surely your proud. Shout it out loud. Britain awakes.
6. There’ll always be an England - sorry I slipped into song.
7. But seriously, there might not always be an England. Country lanes, village streets and turning wheels are under threat.
8. The climate is broken.
9. Old men deny this by suggesting that Greta Thunberg has a mental health problem because she refuses to smile at them and show off her tits.
10. Our Prime minister is a fool and loads of people love it.
11. He is in the USA (not Europe, trying to negotiate a deal) on the day when the Supreme Court declare that his decision to prorogue Parliament was unlawful on the same day when the USA’s fool of a president gets impeached.
12. They both think these things don’t apply to them.
13. The economy is struggling
14. The pound is weak.
15. Travel companies can suddenly go bust, losing thousands of people their income and news just shrugs its shoulders because it’s not the worst thing happening.
16. News would prefer to focus on the eclectic broach choice of the judge of the Supreme Court.
17. The house market seems to have stagnated.
18. Have you seen the price of butter?
19. Whatever happened to the EU butter mountain?
20. The wrong people went on Bake Off.
21. Even Holly City and the Archers are traumatic.
22. David Cameron is selling his book and we are being made to feel sorry for his incompetence.
23. Parliament is back tomorrow, half way through Labour’s disastrous conference before the Conservatives have had a chance to show the country that they fight between themselves too.
24. The opposition party can’t make a decision on how to oppose.
25. We’re all going to get cancer and die horrible, disgusting, painful deaths anyway.
You see, it’s so much better to name your anxieties. We all feel better now, don’t we? *pulls duvet over head and searches ‘kittens doing funny things while babies laugh.’*
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