Birth of an Archers fan

While we were eating dinner tonight the radio was still on in the kitchen.  Suddenly, it was seven o'clock and there was slow hand clapping coming not only from the radio but also from around our dinner table.  On the radio, it was the silents who were showing their displeasure at Rob the Rapist as they refused to have him on the cricket team.  In my kitchen, the clapping was accompanied by some rather choice language. None of the men in my house are fond of  Rob, including the dog who growls at his voice on the radio.

Fantastic drawing from the Guardian

"When I finally go to University, I might just listen to the first bit of the Archers, if I feel homesick," said my son. The Long Suffering Husband raised an eyebrow. He knew that I'd made an Archers listener, simultaneously disapproving of me and worrying about his boy's future.

The Archers finished and our conversation moved onto more mind blowing topics, like golf, maths and the probability of someone having the same fingerprints as you.  Apparently, there is a one in 64 million chance that two people could have the same fingerprint.  That sounds unlikely but the top Euro millions prize has an odds of winning of one in 140 million and people do win that.
"That's how they could deal with Rob," I said.
"Great idea.  Find his fingerprint twin and get them to commit a crime,"
"Yes,"I interrupted, excited that my son had instantly understood what I was thinking, "the fingerprint twin could murder Susan and leave fingerprints everywhere for PC Burns to find and that would be it, Rob could be locked up for life."
"Why Susan?" the LSH asked.
"Oh Dad, no one likes Susan,"
That might have been a mistake, thinking about it, because I do quite like Susan.  Not as a person but as a character and have been waiting patiently for the hilarity that will occur when everyone has peeled their stars off Miss October since the WI calendar photo shoot.

Twitter is pinning it's hopes on Rob having already murdered Stephan and stuffed him in a culvert but I think that's unlikely.  Rob only threatened him and he went home.  If he hadn't gone home then his family would have looked for him by now, starting at the last place he worked.

I like the fingerprint twin idea, though.  It could be great to see him convicted for a crime he didn't commit and not caring because we all know he 'deserved it'.
"They'd need to leave some of Rob's DNA at the scene too, just to seal the deal," my son said.
I thought Usha could help.
"No, she's too clean.  You'd never get her to help."
"What about the carpet at Blossom Hill Cottage?"
"Yeah, she could just give it to someone, or leave it somewhere. It does have Rob's blood on it from where Helen stabbed him."
"What if Charlie Thomas is Rob's fingerprint twin?"
He looked at me wide-eyed.  We both knew that would be amazing.

The LSH was visibly twitching, "I've got a suggestion," he said, flatly."
We both looked at him, waiting.
"It could just be in the script,"
We tilted our heads to one side and scratched around our ear in unison.
"The scriptwriter could just write, 'Rob leaves Ambridge in disgrace.'"

*Silence*

"I know," said my son, after a while, "He could be eaten by a flock of mad marauding sheep on Lakey Hill."