Don't Panic Mother!

It is a mother's job to worry.

I know I shouldn't.  I know that everything will be fine - even if it's not.  I did A levels and went off to college and I didn't worry.  To be honest, I didn't know I should worry.  No one in my family had been to college before.  When my A level results came out (by post!) I was a temporary cleaner in a big Solicitor's Office next to St Paul's Cathedral.  It was probably the best job I've ever had.  We were paid loads of money for flicking a duster over the highly polished tables 3 times a day and cleaning the sinks in the ladies toilets 4 times a day.  There were two long tea breaks, with homemade cakes (left over from the Solicitors tea with a group of fascinating ladies, who I thought were ancient but were probably fairly close to the age I am now.  One of the younger Solicitors, in a pink striped shirt and wide silk tie, with red braces holding up his pin-striped trousers said, "Crikey, I didn't think you'd be in today, aren't you collecting your results?"  "They come by post," I replied.  "Fuck me, you're a cool one," he said.  I blushed and ran off for tea break.  The old ladies all wanted to know what I'd got.  "I don't know, they come by post," I said again.  "Ring home and get your mum to open them, find out what you've got. Use the Partner's phone, he won't mind."  I was confused.  The results would be there when I got home.  They were even more confused, "Aren't you going to University?" It never even crossed my mind that I wouldn't get the results I needed.  This is probably because I only needed to pass 2 of my A levels, no particular grades required.  I had already wasted my UCAS application on totally unsuitable courses, requiring grades I knew were impossible and so I was going to a Poly, which I had applied to directly.

Tomorrow, the A level results come out.  I'm sure my daughter will be fine.  She worked hard.  Her offers are realistic (although the grades I got at A level wouldn't have got me in) but over the last few days I've been waking several times a night, hot and sweaty having dreamt about something that I had to do again.  I need to get a grip.  So my default anti-stress position is to bake.

A while ago I bought some really cute silicone muffin cases that look like flower pots from Lakeland, so what a perfect opportunity to try them out.  I made some elderflower sponges,  iced the cakes with green butter cream and placed some sugar paste flowers on the top.

Then I went to see Ted (remembering to remove the courgette from my handbag before I went) laughed a lot, had a curry and now I feel much better ......until 3am when no doubt I will wake, sweating and worrying.