Satisfactory Guaranteed

According to the BBC News website this morning, Ofsted are going to start using stronger language when rating schools.  They are planning to scrap the word Satisfactory and replace it with 'get your act together, pull your socks up and get your finger out.'

When people are asked to judge themselves some will be overly critical while others will give themselves a metaphorical pat on the back. The Levison enquiry seems to be saying that journalists are unable to regulate themselves because they are into back slapping in a big way. Women tend to judge each other harshly and I've noticed that so do teachers.  Ofsted inspectors are almost always current head-teachers or ex-teachers and so I'm not surprised that they want to get rid of satisfactory.  No teacher I know has ever been happy with a satisfactory rating.  I thought satisfactory meant 'good enough'.  Teachers inspecting teachers is such a bad idea. Teachers can never watch a lesson without mentally making corrections and it's trained into them to teach the person they are watching how to do it better. Unfortunately, this can be demoralising.

I'm hoping that this rephrasing will also mean that inspectors give less satisfactory grades and start to appreciate schools that are doing a good enough job.

I work in a school that was rated satisfactory in it's last Ofsted.  The children love coming to school. They want to learn, they can think for themselves, they like their teachers (who are dedicated and hard working), have good friends, play instruments, sing in the choir, have sports clubs, and all sorts of other interests and opportunities in school.  Whether they all make 2 levels progress I can't comment but they all seem to be happy.  If that's not good enough then we live in a very sad world.

Chocolate cake and gadgets

The excitement that was enjoyed by the men in my life when the Screwfix Direct Catalogue plopped on the mat was something I struggled to understand until Lakeland Plastics made a version for women and then I became as excited by a gadget as any man I know.  Cake tin liners, chocolate éclair tins, cake storage boxes, Pineapple slicers,  specialist icing nozzles, things to make cleaning the oven or the teapot easy have all left me flushed with excitement at one time or another. This year for Christmas I had two gadgets that until yesterday had stayed in their packets.  Not using them for nearly 20 days has mainly been because all I have eaten is left over cheese and Christmas cake.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I cooked anything.

Yesterday we needed chocolate cake.  There is nothing in life that can't be made to feel just a little bit better with a slice of good chocolate cake.  Especially a layered chocolate cake sandwiched together with sickly chocolate butter icing.

I have always wondered why layered cakes in magazines or on GBBO don't look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  My cakes rise unevenly - they are never completely flat (something to do with oven temperature no doubt) and so when sandwiched together they wobble.  My first gadget solves this problem.

It slices the top off the cake and makes all the layers the same size.  The wire wasn't quite as sharp as I was hoping for but it did work and left a new cooks perk (almost as good as licking the bowl)

When the cake was put together it was a chance to use the best gadget EVER EVER EVER.  The cake lifter as seen on the Great British Bake Off. It meant that I didn't get icing all over my fingers or have the cake sag in the middle.

The finished cake tastes the same as ever but probably looks better than any layered cake I've ever made.

Is it wrong that I've had a slice for breakfast, lunch and will probably have slice for tea?

January Blues

The roller coaster stopped.  It was at the bottom, which is lucky in one way because it would be a bit dangerous to exit a roller coaster at the top of a loop but being at the bottom is a very miserable place to be.  There are so many things to be a bit depressed about at the moment:  It's January.  It's dark.  It's cold. There is a global recession.  We have a conservative government.  Michael Gove is ugly.  Cruise ships hit rocks.  People in Arab countries set themselves alight.  Standard and Poor's are giving lower A level grades.

It all feels so gloomily familiar.  Obviously, it's always cold and dark in January.  My daughter will turn 18 in a few weeks time and I am constantly reminded of how I felt at that age.  When I was 18 there was a conservative government and a recession.  Life felt gloomy.  We had assemblies where we were told that none of us would get jobs and that there was no money for anything.  There were differences.  Instead of being told we needed to work until the age of 68 and beyond we were told that we would have to retire at 50 because there wouldn't be enough jobs for everyone (maybe that's why we feel so cross - a broken promise!).  We also lived with the constant threat of nuclear obliteration but now it's global warming.

I was a geeky teenager.  I read science fiction, revelling in the thought of a post-apocalyptic world.  I sat with my friends, drinking cheap red wine discussing everything that was terrible in the world.  Thinking it was cool, I went on CND marches and stood at Speaker's Corner listening to idiots.  I even threw an egg at Keith Joseph (Michael Gove in 1986) when he visited the college I was studying at.  At the time the government wanted to prove that degrees should only be awarded by 'proper universities' and wanted the Polytechnics to revert to Institutes of Technology and offer Btec-type qualifications.  We were particularly upset about this because it would mean that we were studying at South Hertfordshire Institute of Technology and although it may have been true we really didn't want to have to confess to having achieved a SHIT degree.

I still like to read Science Fiction and maybe some of my gloom is caused by my current impulse choice from the library.  It's called the End Specialist by Drew Magary.  A book about a world where a cure for old age has been found appealed to me for about 3 pages and then I realised I definitely don't want to live forever.  Not least because it all ends rather badly with people being killed and eventually nuclear Armageddon.  Now the book is finished chocolate cake is needed.

Roller coasters

Some people love roller coasters.  They get some bizarre thrill from hurtling head first towards the ground and having their stomach flipped in knots.  They just make me sick.

I like my life to go at a slow steady, flat pace too.  This week has been a bit of a roller coaster and now I feel a bit sick.  

I visited Leicester this week.  It was a lovely day.  Daughter had a good university interview, we had lunch, I walked all over the city and craved Foxes Glacier Mints.

This morning I woke up feeling really happy.  I thought the pulled muscle was better.  Then I moved and  felt miserable and a bit sick.

School band practice cheered me up.  That might be the best they've ever played and they want to record themselves playing God Save the Queen to send to HM for her Diamond Jubilee. They also want to go on Britain's Got Talent!

Then I went to a meeting about the Olympic Celebrations in our town.  I couldn't park and felt miserable again.  

The meeting was really exciting.  I can't wait until the Giant comes to visit.  I keep thinking that this will never happen again in our lifetimes and so it's worth putting all this energy into.  

http://www.essexlegacy.org/about/essex-cultural-olympiad/sparks-will-fly/

Then at lunchtime I was talking to a colleague about Michael Gove's performance on morning television and I felt depressed again. I can't wait to have my lessons observed and criticised by parents!

This picture of Michael Gove always cheers me up

An afternoon with year 5/6 who had just had a PD lesson on smoking and were as high as kites had both brilliant and terrible moments. (I'm not quite sure what they had been smoking and can't wait until next week when they are doing alcohol!)

Then, the youth orchestra always makes me very happy.  Such a brilliant bunch of kids. 

Then I heard that two of my favourite people are going to be jobless quite soon. 

Then I watched Milton Jones.  I love his comedy - "In primary school they asked me if I wanted to take the Guinea Pig home.  3 months later and 2 plane rides later I was Papua New Guinea."

Please stop the roller coaster - I want to get off.

Another App - (doo doo da do do.)

The Long Suffering Husband is a very nice man but he isn't completely without fault.  He has one major problem - his jealousy.  He's not worried about other men, or the time and attention I lavish on the children.  No, he is jealous of my i-phone.  Not that he wants an i-phone for himself.  He just thinks my phone gets more attention than he does.

He could have a point.  I love an app.  If there was an app for the 'Perfect Husband' I'm sure I'd download it and replace him. My phone does almost everything I want it to.  I have an app for organising my day.

I have an app for recording what I've eaten so that I can eat cake to balance out the exercise I've done.

Last week I downloaded a free app to tell me what time the swimming pool was open and it has a section where you can record how far you have swum.  

It appears as though I swam the width of the Nile.  Luckily, there were no crocodiles in the pool.

I have a To Do list, although I did have to write one on paper today so that I could give the 2012 packs an extra large tick! And then when I want to waste some time there's always Angry Birds,Words with Friends, Suduko or my latest favourite - Pipe Roll

It plays all my favourite music and even makes phone calls.

It doesn't make tea but as I don't drink tea I can live with that.

I wonder if there is a App Addict App?

Rubbish Day for a Birthday

Fifteen days after Christmas, nine days after New Year and one week (or maybe two depending on which report you read) before the most depressing day of the year is not the best day to have a birthday.  Even as a child, nobody wanted to celebrate my Mum's birthday.

 A meal? "sorry, on a diet."
 A birthday cake? "There's some Christmas Cake still left."
 A gift? "We just spent more on your Christmas present."

I'm just as bad as everyone else.  The 9th of January sneaks up on me every year.  Shopping isn't my favourite pastime and so my poor mum usually ends up getting some flowers or chocolates.  This year she invited us to Sunday dinner (which she cooked) and her present was a variation on the flowers and chocolate theme. (Idea by the brilliantly creative Mrs M)

It's not much but it did make her laugh, which has to be the best present anyone can get at this time of year.

I Want to be Alone

It's a basic human desire to be needed.  It makes us feel important, special, as though we have a place on this earth.  We want our partners, our children, our work colleagues to need us.  We like to feel indispensible.  "What would you do without me?"

A good relationship is one where the balance is right.  You need each other.  When your children are small you need their love and the smell of the warm soft baby skin as much as they need you to care for them.  As they grow you start to need them just as they need you.  We wonder how we will be able to leave the house when our daughter is no longer here to ask, "Do I look OK?" or how we will ever manage to find a calculator to do the mental arithmetic our son can just do in his head.  And most of the time the long suffering husband and I are perfectly balanced. Undoing jars/cooking with contents of jar.  Driving to a party/Driving home.  Turning on the TV/Turning off the TV.  Opening cupboards/Closing Cupboards.  Putting the bin out/Filling up the bin. Replacing the toilet paper/ Using the toilet paper.  Lifting the toilet seat/ Putting down the toilet seat.

Today I felt like Ed Sheeran (I'm really liking his music at the moment).  'You need me but I don't need you.'  I had a date with the American National Anthem and a packet of Cheese Balls.

Stupidly, I offered to organise a big Primary School sing of National Anthems for 2012, Olympics and another school's centenary.  I'm not sure why I did this now. I don't even like sport. Did I want to be needed?  I don't think so.  I just thought it would be a good idea.  Did I think I was the only person who could do it?  Definitely, not.  Loads of people could do it better than me, although, I think I might be the only person mad enough to try. I set myself a deadline for completing the arrangements of Monday the 9th January. So panic set in.  I just wanted to be alone to get on with it.

But I was needed.  I was needed to pay bills, walk the dog, book a driving theory test, make the printer work, and help look for a wallet.

"Why are you so stressed?", he asked.
"Just got lot's to do," I replied.
"Just do it then!", he said.

I HAVE BEEN TRYING!

Although, I do feel a bit guilty for shouting now because we found the wallet (after stopping all the cards) in the washing machine.  He was trying to help!