Like Billio

Like Billy-O: It's not a phrase you hear very often these days, unless you watch Downton, where Rose says, "Oh but I do. I want to rush in like Billyo!" - floozie!

 It is a good phrase, though. It conjures up images of hellfire and damnation; something so fast and extreme that it can't possibly be good for you. It's perfect for Downton, as you can only imagine it being said with a plummy accent by someone in a tuxedo or flapper dress, "Oh, dahrling, I can't possibly go out in that: it's raining like billyo and my fascinator will look like a drowned ostrich."

It's a phrase we knew as children. I suspect it was on the National Curriculum, which means it will be back in use before too long, unless some of the non-words from the phonics tests start to catch on. (Quemp: small green mythical frog-like creature that lives in dark, damp holes. Some say the quemp is the ruler of all bog beings)

The Reverend Joseph Billio is a man I feel quite attached to. He may, or may not be the source of this phrase but for the last ten years our youth orchestra has been rehearsing in the Church that he built. This particular church is a beautiful Georgian building and we love rehearsing in it. There is a blue plaque on the front, which seems to be hiding, as if Billio would be a little shy of his fame. It was several years before I noticed it, even though the story of Billio had been told to me by our percussion director, who is shortly to become a Time Lord (or doctor of history) and I had seen his portrait in the church.

Blue Plaque

Seems to be hiding

Reverend Joseph Billio was born to the vicar of Wickham Bishops, Robert Billio in 1668.  Either Robert or Joseph was thrown out of the Parish for non-conformist sympathies (I can't work out who) and Joseph hired some land from William Coe in 1696 to build a meeting hall for 400 people. He then proceeded to give long and passionate sermons about how everyone was going to burn in hell, which were very popular and drew large crowds. 

These sermons are one of the possible derivations of the phrase, which could go on like Billio, spitting hellfire and damnation. Other people disagree, as the word didn't appear in print wasn't until 1882, where the Fort Wayne Gazette printed: "He lay on his side for about two hours, roaring like Billy-Hoo with the pain, as weak as a mouse"

That time-frame seems about right to me. 180 years to get across to America from Maldon, after all I know people from Maldon who took 40 years of their life to go as far as London. Maldonites are fitted with elastic at birth that brings them pinging back and most have very short elastic.

Yesterday, I took some infant children to visit the church. I used my key to let them in the back door. 

"Do you live here?" they asked, "Why do you have a key then?" 

They had been very interested in the graves and death in general, speculating about Mummies, vampires and the size of the people in the tombs. I showed them the portrait of Billio and told them the story about the phrase they had never heard of but all they wanted to know was whether he was dead. 

"What do you think?" I asked, "He was born in 1669, that would make him 347 years old."

"He's dead then," they all agreed.

"Did you know him?" another child asked.

"Errr, no!"

"Was he your Dad then?" he persisted.

"Well, let's see," I said standing next to the portrait, "do we look alike?"

Heads tilted to one side, giving the question considerable thought.

"Could be," the boy finally pronounced, "You have the same blond hair and big nose."

I suppose I asked for that.

The Rev Joseph Billio

This week's orchestra rehearsal  has seen me conducting like Billio, with my blond hair and big nose, as we only have three weeks before our concert. (Details here: //www.eventbrite.com/e/maldon-youth-orchestra-annual-summer-concert-tickets-17367696247). Please come and see us and have a look at the shy blue plaque while you are there.

Conducting like Billio.  Hands moving so fast they are a blur.

Jubilation

Hooray.  It's half term and we have a non-pupil day for report writing (which I've finished) so today I'm blogging from my bed, the dog curled up on the end, resigned to a late walk.  It has been a long and tiring half term.  In the week I hosted a rehearsal for 8 Primary School choirs, in a hall that was so hot you could barely breathe.  I am now quite excited for the Sparks Will Fly event on the 16th June and the two day Olympic Festival but I really do mean it when I say that I NEVER want to do anything like it again.  Call me picky but to have a member of staff from another school come up to you and say that the whole thing has been very badly organised is something I can live without!

Marina the Mightier

I am going to clean the oven today.  That might not sound like reason for celebration but in our house being able to cook, without filling the kitchen with black smoke will be almost as exciting as having been on the throne for 60 years.

Our school band had a letter from Buckingham Palace last week.

We had sent a DVD of us playing anthems of the UK, which we play in Friday assemblies.  It was very exciting (for me as much as the kids - who knew I was a Royalist?)  Lady-in-waiting, Jennifer Gordon Lennox, was brilliantly diplomatic, not saying whether they had watched the DVD or whether they liked it but thanking us for our gift and kind wishes.  She said that the Queen was touched.  It must be awful to be a queen, I hate being touched and she must regularly have to be touched by the great unwashed!  I sent an e-mail to the paper about it with a photo of the band.  I thought they'd like it.  Unfortunately, he rang me up and now I am quite worried.  Obviously, I will deny that I said any of what they print.  "I was mis-quoted, you know what the local press is like?"  But I could have said anything.  He asked me if all Primary Schools have a school band.  I wanted to say, "how do I know, why don't you do some research and ring them up and ask them?" but I didn't.  He asked me what our band thought about the Queen.  I know I said, "oh, we love her she's cute!"  What a stupid thing to say.

She is quite cute.

We had an assembly with the Queen and the Royal family in attendance (Morrison's have a great set of masks!) and sang the National Anthem.  I said to the girl doing the computer, "don't put words up, we've been singing it for long enough - we all know the words."   She looked horrified, "all 5 verses?"

My last lessons of half term were Jubilee music with year 1/2. We sang songs, talked about the Jubilee, street parties, parades, soldiers and the Queen.  We marched like soldiers and composed a drum and recorder Jubilee piece.

It was a very funny afternoon.

Me: Some people will go to street parties.

Child:  I'm going to a party, my mummy is getting married.

Another child:  I like parties

Another child:  Me too, I'm going to go bowling for my brothers birthday

(This carried on for a while)

Me: There will be a parade in London and the Queen will be in a Golden Coach

Child:  What happens to all her Bentleys?

Me:  The soldiers have to work very hard to learn how to march in time.

Child:  They should come here, we could show them how to do it.

Child:  My recorder went squeaky.  Do you think the Queen would like it?

Me:  I'm sure she loves squeaky recorders

Me:  The Queen has been our queen for 60 years, that's a very long time.

Child:  It's Queen Victoria

Me: Our Queen is called Elizabeth

Different Child:  It's Elizabeth too.  Elizabeth and Victoria

Child:  You know the Queen?  Well I know her husband.

Me:  Do you?

Child:  Yes it's George and he lives in our road.

When the reporter asked me what we thought of the Queen I should have said, they have absolutely no idea who she is but they like parties.