He’s not that bad

 A few days ago the voice from the radio said, “Residents from the East of Ukraine have been advised to evacuate as Boris Johnson arrives for talks with President Zelenski.”

“Oh dear,” I thought to myself, “He’s not that bad.”

It turns out that he said all the right things to the President of Ukraine and the two statements were not necessarily connected. To be fair, that’s his strength. He’s great at saying what people want to hear. Just not so great at actually doing what he says but we forgive him again and again because he’s a cute blue eyed tousle-haired toddler. 

Yesterday, the Met Police finally decided enough was enough. In the morning the radio announcer said that they had been advised that Boris and Rishi were not in receipt of a fixed notice penalty. An account that had probably been briefed to them because they STILL don’t think they did anything wrong. By the evening, the Met had released a statement saying that they had, in fact, been fined for Boris’ birthday party. The Prime Minister and the Chancellor issued non-apology apologies in language that left is in no doubt that they still think we are stupid. The Prime Minister’s wife’s taxpayer funded spokesperson issued a similar explanation on her behalf. The interior designer is yet to comment but I expect she will be forced to resign.

The news at 10 was broadcast from Downing Street, where protesters were having a party of their own, playing , “You’ve got to fight for your right to paaaartaaaay,” at top volume. They flicked between there and Ukraine and it was like an unbelievable scene from a dystopian novel.

This morning we are being told that, although he lied to parliament that was fine because he didn’t know he was doing anything wrong at the time, which is definitely a defence all criminals should try. He couldn’t tell that he was at his own birthday party. He was ambushed by cake, although the Marks and Spencer’s offering remained in it's Tupperware box (!) It was only 10 minutes (or longer according to other reports).  So, he is definitely not going to resign.

This, apparently, isn’t the time to change Prime Ministers. It would be foolish and reckless to even consider such a move during a war. It has been done before (Gulf and WW2) but let’s pretend those facts don’t exist. Don’t you know there’s a war on? The headlines shout. There’s always a war on, somewhere and we are not actually fighting this one, yet. Let’s hope we are not dragged into it just to save the skin of a Prime Minister’s ego.

But we shouldn’t panic. There’s a job to do and we should just forget everything that has gone before and let them do it.

I mean, he’s not that bad, is he?

Actually, he’s not. There are worse. Like the MP who, this week was found guilty of the sexual abuse of a  15 year old boy and thinks it’s ok to carry on being an MP. Like the MP who defended him and said that what he did was ok because he’s gay. Like Liz Truss who is going for the full Mr Benn photo op album. Like Putin (who I think might have ad a stroke from his latest pictures)

It’s true. He’s not that bad. 

However, I think we have a right to expect better. 

The news keeps saying that partygate is important because we have never, as a nation, been asked to take such life limiting measures, outside of war time and they couldn’t obey their own rules. Well, if we are heading into a full war (which it seems as though we are) then I would like a government who is trustworthy. A government who will lead by example. A government that will ask us to do only what is necessary and not be laughing at us for sticking to the rules they have set, while they do whatever they like. 

Also, it would be good, right now, to have a government that can focus on the job in hand, rather than making up lies about M&S cake in Tupperware. 

But just remember. He’s not that bad.