Monkey Chatter

During lockdown, the troop of monkeys were quieter.  They only had one topic to chat about and none of  that was my responsibility.  In many ways, it was a relief.  But here we are again, back to normal life with everything to fit in and there's a whole shrewdness of gibbons living in my head again.

If you read about monkey brain (New Age thinkers, yogis and meditators talk about it a lot) then they all say that the monkey chatter is negative talk.  They suggest that it's the monkeys that shout, "You idiot, what do you think you were doing?  Can't you do anything right?"

I have a theory that everyone has different types of monkeys and apes that live in their head.  

A troop of chimps stand in one corner making stupid jokes and not taking anything seriously, while a flange of baboons concern themselves with chatter about bodily functions.  These particular simians get more noisy as you get older.  A tribe of macaques are always thinking about how to get out of doing things and a cartload of mandrills are sticking their huge noses into other people's business. A cup of capuchins chat about your coffee intake. A barrel of marmosets constantly consider your appearance, planning visits to hairdressers and beauticians that you really don't have time for.  A whoop of gorillas mull over your romantic relationships and a family of orangutans, thoughtfully mull over how your children are doing.  But that shrewdness of gibbons are the worst.  They are always making plans and have ideas for career advancement.  I keep telling mine that I don't really want a career: A part time job is fine but they never listen.  At 3am they come up with a new plan, a new idea, a new suggestion.  They are not a shrewdness for nothing.  These plans are genius, compelling me to suggest things I really don't have time to do.  

They are all capable of being negative because they want the best for their particular area of expertise.  However, my apes are positive most of the time but I'd still like them to shut up occasionally.

“Just tell them you’re busy.”

How do you quieten monkeys?  All I can think of at the moment is nuts. Am I nuts or do my head primates just need feeding?