Men aren’t maltesers

 I am going to stop writing about the great Men vs Women Wars of 2021 soon but I just have one more thing I have to say. Men aren’t maltesers.

Women are terrifying each other and what started out as a worthwhile protest has now backfired. 

I see young women sharing on social media that they are now not able to go out at night, that they can’t walk their dog or walk home from a friends house and this is all the fault of men.  This worries me.

Even Caitlin Moran, All hail, high priestess of all feminists has even said that she has to cut her work day short to exercise and that she’s jealous of her husband because he can run after 6pm.

Women are placing a curfew on themselves and each other. 

Even if it was men’s behaviour that is causing this then that’s another reason to walk at night.  It would be wrong to let them win. This whole thing shouldn’t be about protecting women but should be directed at preventing and catching the men who behave in this horrible violent way.

This isn’t new. As someone who walks everywhere and loves walking at night I am often confronted with a suck of the teeth and a suggestion that my husband should come and collect me. I could be putting myself at risk but so far the odds have been in my favour. The worst that has happened is that I once walked into a bollard when someone beeped their car horn at me. I have been occasionally frightened but that fear has been in my head, caused by blowing leaves, a creaky gate or an innocent person also taking a nighttime walk. It might not be new but it is getting out of control. 

Someone posted a very interesting statement about maltesers to explain the not all men thing.

There is a point to this explanation. It’s about risk. As humans, we navigate risk all the time. 

When I read it, my initial answer was, “Of course not, who in their right mind would take that risk?”

But it might depend on how hungry you were or how much you wanted a Malteser. It might depend on how big a box of Maltesers it was. Two in a box of 20 would feel like a bigger risk than 10 in a box of 100.

But men aren’t maltesers. They are not a sweet treat that can easily be avoided or swapped for one of the many other chocolate based products around. They are air. They are everywhere.The human race needs both male and female to survive. Women have to (and mostly want to) navigate a world that has men in.

If you were told that there had been a gas leak somewhere but no one knew where you wouldn’t accept the suggestion that the solution would be to stop breathing. You would expect someone to look for that gas leak. They might suggest you stay at home until they find it but if the leak is in your home (as most violence towards women is) then would you really be expected to stop breathing

Let’s not limit our lives any more than we need to. It’s all about proportionate risk.

If you know men who are making someone unsafe then report them. Stop them. Insist that something is done. Campaign for a better criminal justice system or programmes to prevent the abuser early. Put pressure on Parliament to make laws that make things better. They need to focus on preventing crimes and not protecting women. Write letters, lobby your MP, yarn bomb the town (I think that’s still allowed). Maybe, don’t gather because they have just passed a Bill against protest that a dictatorship would be proud of but there’s a fine line between lobbying and protesting, so get that pressure on.

Give up maltesers if you want but don’t stop breathing.