The last time I borrowed her blog was just before the boy left home and they took me to Scotland.......I had to write then because of all the beasties and the fridge of sighs......I was right to be worried then....the boy didn’t leave that year but he did go the next......I know the signs.....
This morning She did yoga for Uncertainty....I like yoga....I’ll stay in the room with her while she does it....but what do these humans know about uncertainty?....they should try being a dog....some of your pack leaves....you stay in the house...and you never know if they’re coming back again.....that’s uncertainty.
This year I had them all back for a while.....my whole pack.....all day long.....The signs were reversed....suitcases, furniture and washing filled the hall for a few days.....gradually all of those things found homes in the house.....and everyone settled down....I was exhausted.....there were flies and pigeons, unexpected noises and all sorts of dangers to be alert to.......so many things to protect them from......
We hardly saw anyone else.....the little farty people who make flute noises disappeared....there were no ear rubs from their parents....no nice music to listen to.....no chromatic scales......phew!....A few came back last summer......not all of them....but enough......no ear rubs from parents though because they weren’t allowed in.....I soon worked it out though....and went out to them......then it all stopped again.....sometimes I hear them....the Emilys and their gavottes........I come running down the stairs but she’s just talking to her screen......
The hall filled up with cases and washing and furniture.....someone was going again.....I cried.....no one listened to me.....I cried a bit more.....then the boy was gone.....I sat in his empty room for days.....but the big girl stayed....and I thought she had gone forever....except Christmases and birthdays....
Things started to settle down...the big girl looked at screens all day....the LSH and I slept and watched TV together....and She went back to work....I don’t love her as much as I did....She smells funny....so it was good to have her out of the house....
The trees went up inside the house and I knew the boy would be home....it was so good to see him....but as soon as the turkey farts had faded, he had gone again....
She didn’t go back to work though....she talks all day on the phone or to her little screen....Yes....I know....it’s hard....if you could just....oh....I see.....can I help with that?....Then her voice brightens....heloooo....what have you been doing?......ohhhh exciting.....what are you having for lunch?......Egg sandwiches?......my favourite........she lies a lot....
The LSH and I stayed upstairs....
I was missing the boy but things seemed to have settled into some kind of routine......us dogs like routine.....
Then I was filled with uncertainty.....for weeks the hall filled with furniture...the pink cases came out of the loft...the LSH kept going missing....he came back in the evening smelling of paint and sawdust.....sometimes he took things from the hall with him.....was someone leaving?.....a holiday?.... or forever again?.....
They filled two cars.....they all went....I was on my own.....I paced around for a while....I sniffed all the bedrooms.....the big girl’s bedroom was empty......I could still smell the snack cupboard.....I had a good check through the bin......ate some crumbs.....but there was no denying it.....she had gone.....
The LSH and She came back and ate chips alone....I tried not to mention it.....
Yesterday, I heard the key in the door.....the LSH and She were both in....I rushed downstairs......it was the big girl......I was so excited that I did a little wee.... ‘I thought you’d left me,’ I squeaked at her ...she scratched my ears and rubbed my tummy.....she didn’t let me lick her face.....oh well....it was worth trying.....she stayed a while and then went again....
She tried to explain it to me..... “She’s in our bubble,” she said, “The big girl can pop back whenever she likes. She lives on her own now but is only down the road.”.......I like the sound of that.....I wonder if we could put the boy in a bubble?
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