How did you sleep?

 Boris appeared on the TV, looking sad and ill (don't feel sorry for him) and told us what we already knew. Hospitals are overwhelmed, we are at crisis point, schools are safe but also vectors for disease (so not really safe)

Another national lockdown, like the one we had in March.

It was on time, succinct and clear. Almost as though he had no choice but to do this properly.

For us, in Essex, this will probably make little difference.  We have been living under the toughest tier 4 restrictions for a while and schools knew they weren't going to reopen in the normal way.  We had got to the point where we knew people with Covid and knew that some of them had been very sick.  We might even know of a death.  We had seen pictures of ambulances stacked outside the hospitals and had talked to friends in the NHS, who are exhausted and scared - again. We knew that this was the right thing.  We knew that it was important.

However, there is no explaining how something like this throws a curved ball at your brain.  

Just seeing Boris on the TV looking serious feels terrifying.  The man is never serious.  The lack of metaphors, or Latin phrases, reasonably combed hair, and no hint of a smile playing anywhere near the corners of his mouth are completely out of character.  It's like when a loud teacher suddenly whispers.

The country, again, collectively held it's breath and had flashbacks to the trauma of the first lockdown.

Can we home school without killing our children? Can we make banana bread? Is Joe Wicks back? Cancel dry January? Are we giving carers the clap again every Thursday? Online Zoom quiz anyone?

Last time, we started in an optimistic way.  We told ourselves that it wouldn't be for long.  This time the Prime Minister has told us not to even think about it until February half term.  Everyone googled when that was, as if that was the date to aim for but we all know that his predictions of dates are......I was struggling for the right word here but I think the best word is......WRONG.

In theory, we should have adapted.  We should be used to the restrictions.  We know how to use Zoom/Skype/Teams/GoogleMeet/Discord/Facebook video - other platforms are probably available. However, the longer it  goes on, the deeper the despair.

Be kind to yourself today.  If you didn't sleep well, dreamt about rollercoasters, floods or dead ends and can't properly function today then cut yourself some slack, get outside, listen to the birds, go for a walk, breathe and remember you got through it before.  You've just got to give your brain time to file all this extra information and realise that it isn't new and can probably just shred it, rather than trying to ram it into the already overflowing filing cabinet.