Over to BJ

 It’s just unprofessional, isn’t it? Why can’t they use each other’s proper names? Maybe I’m old fashioned but I’d quite like to go back to the days when the Prime Minister was called Mr Johnson. I’m not against the use of the full name but I do think in a professional televised briefing they shouldn’t be calling each other Steve and Boris. Even worse is that they seem unable to call Johnathan Van Tam by anything other than his initials. Weirdly, it feels a bit racist too. You know when someone with an Asian name gives up on your terrible pronunciation and says, “It’s fine, just call me Jo.”  However, his name is Jonathan. Jonathan! How hard is it to say Jonathan? It’s not even as if Van Tam is tricky either. 

It irritated us so much that every time he said, “I’ll leave that one to you JVT,” we wanted the deputy chief medical officer to reply and say, “Over to you BJ.”

The management of this pandemic is going from bad to worse. Tier 3 restrictions have been placed on Greater Manchester after talks fell through. Andy Burnham, who I’m ashamed to say I’m finding quite sexy, wanted to make sure there was enough money to support people affected by the restrictions. They had nearly agreed a deal but now we are leaving Manchester with a no deal and we might actually be at war. 

I just wish there could be a bit more honesty and everyone could stop using the virus as an excuse for avoiding everything we don’t like. BJ should have just said, “Nope. Manchester. Don’t like it. Let’s just shut it down.”  Instead, he said that it wouldn’t be fair on places with low infection rates. What he should have said was, “Devon, Cornwall and Norfolk beautiful, it’s not fair. Essex? Meh, oh go on then.”

Lots of people are using the virus as an excuse to avoid what they don’t like.GPs have stopped seeing patients, some shops have early closing, hospitals are refusing visitors and we’ve all loved the excuse not to visit difficult relatives.

At the end of my swim yesterday parents who couldn’t read the sign were lathering Johnson’s baby shampoo into their toddlers and chatting absentmindedly in the showers. 

“What are you going to do then?”

“We got a letter from the school saying that birthday sweets are allowed but they need to be brought in 72 hours before and then children should take them home and put them in a cupboard for three days before eating them. I can’t do that. I can’t add to anything. It’s all bad enough, isn’t it?”

I understand that schools are trying to put in procedures that don’t have them accidentally breaking the law and it’s probably good to be cautious but we all know that birthday sweets is one thing that nobody is going to miss. It’s a faff and a pressure parents could do without and definitely something that teachers don’t have time for, especially at the moment. They are already run ragged with extra hand washing, no break times, lack of caffeine (hot drinks were already banned in the classroom and mingling in the staffroom is out), less lunch break, as they help serve dinners in the classroom and trying to keep five year olds in a seat. The stress of how you make Christmas fun and exciting when your school Father Christmas is shielding is beginning to take its toll. Would it be better to be honest with parents?

“We’ve had a look at all the things that take up unnecessary time and we’ve decided that giving out birthday sweets isn’t going to happen, oh and while we’re at it, we are never going to do show and tell again. It’s pointless. Your child will feel the pressure to stand up and talk and will end up talking for half an hour on the fluff in his pocket.”

Now, I’m reminded of someone again.

Over to you BJ

“This is a very narrow path, oh, look at the fluff in my pocket.”