This year Eurovision is cancelled but the celebration of the evening goes ahead. We have cheese, snacks and drink.
Here we go. Lovely Graham. He’s not Terry but we can forgive him under the circumstances.
First, there is a recap of the best Eurovision of all time. We’ve got our score sheets, olives and we are ready.
Sweden 2015 - Heroes of our Time. Great Lights. We were in Wales the first saw this. It stuck in our head but it was also the first time I had Perl Las cheese
Israel 1998 - Dana International - Diva. It’s not the best song but what a dress. Catchy chorus.
Australia 2016 - levitating Australian with a great voice. Slightly dull song. “I like her sparkly box”
Cheese key change gets extra points. They are all scoring highly because we love Eurovision.
Uses of a box: it’s of perpex boxes. Dizzy floating boxes.
Bucks Fizz 1981 - Making you mind UP.
THAT’S HOW TO DO EUROVISION. It won’t score well on staging. That dance is the best. Flossing before it became popular. The Long Suffering Husband was in the Brecon Beacons at the time. This show is great for reminiscing.
Elani- Cyprus 2018 - She’s like the girl in Music and Lyrics but not as good. We can appreciate the dance sequence but there could be a lot less wind. The dog has turned it into smelly vision.
Luxembourg 1965 - a proper orchestra. She’s singing into a sandwich. She’s cute - probably about 10. It’s not going to score well -unfortunately no points for colourful costumes or fireworks
Sweden 2010 - More wind. The dog is going into overdrive. It’s actually snowing. I’m struggling to concentrate. I feel cold. It’s not cheesy enough. We all have Claudia Winklemen hair now.
Ireland were the best! They’ve ruled them out because of their obvious dominance.
Ah, it’s Santa, playing chess.
Ukraine - This is brilliant. 7712 7712 77123. If you phone that number you get Vladimir Putin. This is Eurovision. I love you. A little bit of sexual harassment too.
Drink to Terry. Time to get tearful and sing the Floral Dance.
Italy 2019 - Moody Ma. Sad little boy in the background. Nope don’t like this, even if he has a nice shirt. It’s quite intimidating this one.
Sweden 1974 - That’s it game over. How can you beat Waterloo. The winners! I’ve mucked up my score sheet anyway.
Every man has a Benny haircut now.
Belgium 2015 - Flashing Images and strobing. Totally forgettable. Is it me, or are the harmonies weird? Good lights.
“Don’t look at me. It’s a panel of experts.” OK Graham. We agree.
UK 1996 - Spice Girls influence. This is good for the UK, why don’t we do songs like this anymore?
It might be a bit too try-hard.
Germany Lena 2010 - I like this one. She’s having a great time and I like the flappy arm dance. I could do that dance.
Italy 1958 - Volare - the performance for that time is great. He does look like he’s holding on for dear life. That’s a proper band. What a banger of a classic.
Israel 2018 Netta Toy- crazy lucky cat chicken. She’s good! This will score well. It’s got everything and no wind.
UK 1976 - Save your kisses for me. I learnt the dance at Brownie camp in Danbury. I can still do it now.
Austria 2015 - Incredible make up, brilliant dress. Bond theme. What’s not to like?
Norway 2009 - Fiddles, boyish charm, push ups, great song. The bow hair is making the violinist in the family twitch. I quite like a bit of gypsy violin.
Katrina and the Waves 1997 - UK very last win. How? Who did we pay to win this? It’s a bit happy clappy church.
My top 3: ABBA, Netta, Ukraine.
My daughter’s : Ukraine, ABBA & Israel, Norway
Results to follow......
The winner is ABBA Waterloo - the right winner!
Part 2
This year’s songs
Johnny Logan bringing the mood down.
What?
30 seconds of each one.
Pass the cheese!
Israel -
Norway -
Russia - This is fun. My kind of dance. Why are they apologising for the pandemic?
Georgia - Fancy showing us a black and white clip.
France - This might have done well. We like a ballad. He’s good looking. Pretty tidy bookcase.
Azerbaijan - This would have been good. Num num nah nah.
Portugal - puffy sleeves and a piano
Lithuania - it’s a TikTok dance!
Sweden - This is good. It’s so sad. Well never know....
Heroes of our time - nice Wisteria
Latvia - that’s weird.
Belgium - hoover phobic - that’s me! Look at those instruments. We like real instruments in Eurovision. However, it was probably too depressing. Stay healthy
UK - That’s quite a nice song. I’m not sure about the splits in a snowy forest.
Belarus - bland
Finland - nice dog. He’s sad.
Macedonia - floor rolling dance. He looks happy. Who is he kidding? “We’re all winners tonight.”
Switzerland - I want toblerone now.
Serbia - that’s a proper Eurovision song
I’m bored now. Eaten too much cheese. It was all the talk of God and masks.
Iceland deserve to win for that.
Poland is on fire! Literally.
Is Effed off a way of saying hello in Israel?
My vote goes to Israel
Part 3
Rylan. Love Rylan. Love Eurovision and love the alphabet. We’ve got tea and biscuits. Love biscuits.
Ireland were the best! They’ve ruled them out because of their obvious dominance.
Ah, it’s Santa, playing chess.
Ukraine - This is brilliant. 7712 7712 77123. If you phone that number you get Vladimir Putin. This is Eurovision. I love you. A little bit of sexual harassment too.
Drink to Terry. Time to get tearful and sing the Floral Dance.
Italy 2019 - Moody Ma. Sad little boy in the background. Nope don’t like this, even if he has a nice shirt. It’s quite intimidating this one.
Sweden 1974 - That’s it game over. How can you beat Waterloo. The winners! I’ve mucked up my score sheet anyway.
Every man has a Benny haircut now.
Belgium 2015 - Flashing Images and strobing. Totally forgettable. Is it me, or are the harmonies weird? Good lights.
“Don’t look at me. It’s a panel of experts.” OK Graham. We agree.
UK 1996 - Spice Girls influence. This is good for the UK, why don’t we do songs like this anymore?
It might be a bit too try-hard.
Germany Lena 2010 - I like this one. She’s having a great time and I like the flappy arm dance. I could do that dance.
Italy 1958 - Volare - the performance for that time is great. He does look like he’s holding on for dear life. That’s a proper band. What a banger of a classic.
Israel 2018 Netta Toy- crazy lucky cat chicken. She’s good! This will score well. It’s got everything and no wind.
UK 1976 - Save your kisses for me. I learnt the dance at Brownie camp in Danbury. I can still do it now.
Austria 2015 - Incredible make up, brilliant dress. Bond theme. What’s not to like?
Norway 2009 - Fiddles, boyish charm, push ups, great song. The bow hair is making the violinist in the family twitch. I quite like a bit of gypsy violin.
Katrina and the Waves 1997 - UK very last win. How? Who did we pay to win this? It’s a bit happy clappy church.
My top 3: ABBA, Netta, Ukraine.
My daughter’s : Ukraine, ABBA & Israel, Norway
Results to follow......
The winner is ABBA Waterloo - the right winner!
Part 2
This year’s songs
Johnny Logan bringing the mood down.
What?
30 seconds of each one.
Pass the cheese!
Israel -
Norway -
Russia - This is fun. My kind of dance. Why are they apologising for the pandemic?
Georgia - Fancy showing us a black and white clip.
France - This might have done well. We like a ballad. He’s good looking. Pretty tidy bookcase.
Azerbaijan - This would have been good. Num num nah nah.
Portugal - puffy sleeves and a piano
Lithuania - it’s a TikTok dance!
Sweden - This is good. It’s so sad. Well never know....
Heroes of our time - nice Wisteria
Latvia - that’s weird.
Belgium - hoover phobic - that’s me! Look at those instruments. We like real instruments in Eurovision. However, it was probably too depressing. Stay healthy
UK - That’s quite a nice song. I’m not sure about the splits in a snowy forest.
Belarus - bland
Finland - nice dog. He’s sad.
Macedonia - floor rolling dance. He looks happy. Who is he kidding? “We’re all winners tonight.”
Switzerland - I want toblerone now.
Serbia - that’s a proper Eurovision song
I’m bored now. Eaten too much cheese. It was all the talk of God and masks.
Iceland deserve to win for that.
Poland is on fire! Literally.
Is Effed off a way of saying hello in Israel?
My vote goes to Israel
Part 3
Rylan. Love Rylan. Love Eurovision and love the alphabet. We’ve got tea and biscuits. Love biscuits.
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