I have one friend who I met when our both our youngest boys were in nursery. We had nodded at each other for a while, as we rushed to and from the car with our uncombed hair and Weetabix stained cardigans. There was a glint of recognition in our eyes but we had never actually spoken.
Then one day, the letter of the week was F. My son always liked to take something in, which was encouraged and he asked to take in a flute. My friend's son did the same. The nursery owner laughed with me. What was the chance of there being two flute players?
"Did you know she was a musician?" she asked, "Obviously, only part time but still.."
She is a proper, professional musician, rather than a fraud, like me.
Our first conversation was about whether it was possible to be a part time musician.
Music isn't easy. Not even for professional musicians. Despite how things are portrayed on the TV, practice is always part of the unseen preparation. Professional musicians don't suddenly have to stop practising. They may be able to sight-read some pieces but only because they are doing their daily exercises and if they are to play with other people then they will need to rehearse to make sure they are all interpreting the music in the same way.
Sometimes, musicians are asked to do things without rehearsal. They always hate this, as it ends up making them look unprofessional.
Most of my job as a musician is about pretending that everything is fine. To maintain a professional show face, when everything feels like it's going wrong. It's what makes us appear so composed at times of grief or stress.
The rest of it is about moving furniture.
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