Norm's Passage

When your parent dies, you imagine that so many things will be difficult.  You think about all the people you will have to tell and how sad it will be.  You know that people will ask you how you are and imagine the standard response will be' fine', as in 'perfectly fine but not really.' That's what I thought, anyway.  I thought I'd be too sad to carry on with much but what I really feel is lucky and proud. So lucky to have had a wonderful man as my father and champion and proud that so many other people felt the same way about him without me ever feeling as though he put others first.

Everyone has such lovely things to say. As I type that I think it's weird because no one would say nasty things.  Can you imagine ringing up someone and saying, "I'm sorry to tell you I've got bad news," and the person replying with, "Good, I never liked him anyway."? 

You imagine that you'll not be able to laugh but I'm chuckling at idea.

There has been genuine admiration for my dad.  When someone tells your daughter that they are sorry to hear about her grandad because he was 'one sick guy,' you know that he has made an impression through several generations. (I got the translated version). 

I was concerned that I might find some things people said a bit too sugary sweet but instead they feel genuine and he never minded people saying nice things about him.  Compliments didn't make him squirm in the way they do me.  

One person I rang said, "What a loss to the town.  So many people will want to come to the funeral, you'll have to hire the Royal Albert Hall.  He's done so much for us.  They should honour him somehow.  They should name a street after him.  He's done so much more than any fat man has done.  I mean, honestly, fancy just being remembered for being fat!"

Relating the conversation back to the rest of the family we smiled.  It made us happy.  For a while we talked about the possible names for a street.  We played with alliteration and rhymes for all his names, including his middle name, which he hated. Then my mum won.

"Norm's Passage," she said.  "People could go up Norm's Passage or meet in Norm's Passage."

We laughed. He would have enjoyed the joke.