As a mother

It was coming.

I knew it was.

A leadership contest between two women could only end in tears. Where were the men to save us from all this? Sensible men, who wouldn't need to be perfect. Men who didn't need to be everything. Men who could make mistakes and that would be fine, in fact it would make us like them more because they were human. Men like Boris: he's still a dick but that's fine. (Luckily, Gove is out of the contest because he's a cunt and no one wants to think about that bit of female anatomy) Men who might have children (or not) but don't  have a womb to worry about. Honestly, if there had just been one man left, none of this would have happened. He could have become leader and we could have all pushed those bloody wombs to the back of our minds. 

As soon as Andrea Leadsom appeared on our screens for the Leave Campaign TV debates her constant refrain of, "as a mother," was ringing in journalists' ears. It    was one of those dissonant chords that jarred and bought an uncomfortable lump to the throat. Anyone, and yes I do mean anyone, who interviewed her would be compelled to ask about it. 

I've had children, am slightly younger than Andrea Leadsom and I was baffled by her constant referral to herself as a mother. Being a mother was my main job, anything else I did was part time work. It was a choice I made because I was lucky enough to be able to and I loved it. It's probably the only job I've actually been any good at but now that my children are grown up I wouldn't reference my mothering job at an interview to run the country. It would be like saying, when I was in reception class I liked playing with Lego and so now that I'm 18 I think I'd make a good banker. It was also odd because it implied that unless you had pushed a baby out of your vagina (oh wait, that might be a step too far. Was she one of the too posh to push brigade?) you didn't care about the country.

Rachael Sylvester from the Times asked the question.

"During the debates you repeatedly said as a mum. Do you feel like a mum in politics?"

Good question.

It could have gone in so many different directions. 

But it didn't. 

It went down the direction that would make a splash. I can just imagine the journalist texting her own mother after the interview. "Can't say anything yet. Got a really big story. So excited."

She said, "I'm sure Theresa will be really sad that she doesn't have children so I don't want this to be 'Andrea has children Theresa doesn't' because that would be really horrible but genuinely I feel that being a mum means that you have a very real stake in the future of the country, a tangible stake. She probably has nieces and nephews, lots of people but I have children who are going to have children who will be part of what happens next."

She offered it to them on a plate. The conflict. Remember, conflict is always the story. Set childless women against those of us with baggy wombs and the story is sold. And she's right. It's really horrible.

The reporter filed her story. Twitter went mad. Women were fighting in the aisles of the supermarkets. It was a bloodbath. Andrea Leadsom cried, "it's not what I said! This is gutter journalism!" Theresa May kept quiet (although it might be too early to say that as she's not on Twitter)

I don't agree with Ms Leadsom but we should be very careful about dividing women into two groups. Look what happens when we give the world binary choices. (Chaos over Brexit)

Vote Mothers! Vote Childless Women!

These are not the issues. 

Vote for the person that can do the best job. Remember that no one is perfect. Stop buying the line that women can have it all, do it all, be it all. Women are just like men, with a womb. Remember that the press is there to entertain us; be entertained, enjoy the hilarity of the comments but don't base your voting decisions on it. And above all, don't take a side and join the fight. This is not about defining womanhood.